He Knows I Will Follow Him, Give All My Life to Him

We walked out of our house this morning and I could feel that delicious and familiar chill of Autumn.

So. STOKED. Time to break out sweaters and scarves, a few of my favorite things! So ready to be done with this crazy Chilean heat! Pero toda via...me encanta Chile y me encanta ser aqui como misionera para dar el mundo la verdad!

So let's be honest...this week was a toughie. I had many, many moments of feeling insufficient in my contribution to the work, feeling like none of these seeds that I am planting are ever going to sprout, woe is me, no baptisms, investigators not wanting to listen anymore, and lots of very sad and helpless tears. Maybe its a bummer to read this, but I want to be honest- missions are tough, and sometimes I truly just don't have amazing experiences to share every week. I wish I did, but sometimes you just have a dud week.

But, being ME and trying to follow my mom's example of always looking for the positive things in life, I have taken note of small but significant blessings in my life right now.

To begin, I have a best friend for my companion. It is truly amazing to me that two people from different countries can have such similar upbringings and opinions and senses of humor and styles and that we can truly read each others MINDS at times! That we can have the most amazing, uplifting conversations with one another and truly feel this beautiful connection with another. I am completely convinced that we were buddy buddies in the premortal existence, and that we are together for one more change, truly a miracle, because right now, the mission is hard. And at times, only specific people can truly love and help you in the way that you need it, and Hermana Velazquez knows me so perfectly and she has helped me so much in this dud week.

We are very, very blessed to be in a ward that is anxious and ready to participate in this work. I have felt the love very strongly this week of the members of the Los Erazzuris ward for us sister missionaries, and how they truly confide in us to help them, as well. We had some wonderful conversations with the Relief Society president this week, Hermana Fuentes, and we can feel that she wants our opinion and help in strengthening the sisters of this ward. For the bajillionth time in my life, I was thankful to have my mom be the ward RS president and see her example and help the sisters here in Chile by sharing her ideas and ways of helping the sisters in our ward back home in Utah. Also, we were waiting to visit a less active member yesterday with the bishop, and he was ticking off all of the less actives that he saw in Sacrament Meeting that he knows we are visiting. After listing them off, he paused a moment and said "Hermanas, sometimes we don't know the fruits of our labors, but they are always there. And we can truly see the fruits of YOUR labors." Its amazing how prayers and answered through people sometimes, and I am thankful for people, like Bishop Calderon, who are in tune enough with the spirit to answer our prayers, sometimes without even knowing.

But more than everything, I am so thankful for the Book of Mormon. My life has changed, my mission has completely changed how I look at and cherish the Book of Mormon. It never ceases to AMAZE me how every single story and example and verse are there to help us. They all apply to our life. People say that there is not a book to tell you how to be a good parent or how to be perfectly happy, but its not true. The Book of Mormon has it all. I will be reading the Book of Mormon every day for the rest of my life because how could I NOT? How could I not just devour this blessing, this revelation from God of how to live successfully in the eyes of the Lord? How could I not testify of this every day in my mission and invite others to wallow in this blessing like I am? How could I not?

I have a testimony that trials strengthen us. Sometimes we are presented with a boulder to try and move, and while we try and give the effort and do everything that we possibly can to move it, we feel that we are making no progress. But in the end, we are stronger, more reliant on ourselves and on the Lord, and this is the true success. I have heard a lot this week about planting seeds. Sometimes, they wont bud for years. Sometimes we just need to be content with planting seeds. But so long as you are doing the Lords work, you will be blessed. As long as you put in the effort that you know you are capable of, our Heavenly Father will be happy with the work that we have done.

This week was hard. But I am stronger for it.

Church is true, folks :) Do What You Do!

-Hermana Harkins

Mosiah 24:14-15

Alma 26:12

Feliz Dia de los Enamorados!

Happy Valentines Day! It is just about the same in Chile as it is in the United States, a lot of big balloons and teddy bears and chocolate, and the good stuff only comes from the people that actually know you and know what will make you happy. On February 14th, I woke up to find a note taped to the floor next to my flip flops saying "Hermana Harkins, follow the arrows". The arrows taped to the floor lead to our table where Hermana Velazquez, my valentine (who would have thought I would have a 22 year old Argentinean for my Valentine in 2014? Not me...), had set up breakfast!

And ya wanna know what we had for breakfast?

LEMON. PIE.

A very happy Valentines Day :)

Later that evening I made her brownies. We know exactly what to do to make each other happy. We basically rock at being Valentines.

I don't know if y'all remember a few weeks back when I mentioned that Hermana Velazquez and I taught an investigator of some other elders in our zone who had a problem with the priesthood and wanted to talk to "girl missionaries". Well she got baptized this week :) we got permission to go to it and it was so wonderful to finally see her work through the insecurities and put her trust in Christ. 

Baptisms. They rock.

Something that I learned this week is that while most time, as missionaries, it works really well to be very personal and loving and all those lovely things. But sometimes, we have to be transparent, like a jury. Sometimes we have to abandon our feelings and our opinions and just let people yell it out. A part of our calling as missionaries is to help less active members come back to church, and we are working with a 23 year old young woman who has some very deep drama with members of the ward and who refuses to enter the chapel because she doesn't want to see everyone being "fake" and "pretending to love each other." Hermana Velazquez and I tried every loving and patient attempt to get her to talk to us, we gave every personal example and scripture that we could think of, and still she gave us sassy and immature and offensive comments as to our efforts. In that moment, that is when you need to just be transparent and not let it all hurt your heart.

And then that is when you can be BOLD!

After working hard to be transparent and soak it all in and breath it all out, we just came right out and told her to come, ignore all the "fake" people if that is what she has to do, and focus on the Sacrament. Focus on the speakers. Focus on the classes. FOCUS ON THE SPIRIT BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT WE COME TO CHURCH TO DO. We don't come to church to socialize, we don't come to church for the people, we come to church because it is so necessary to renew our baptismal covenants, to partake of the Sacrament, to be clean again, to endure to the end, to prove to God that we are devoted to him and the covenants that we make with him. And we get it, Hna. V and I have not wanted to go to church sometimes, but you DO IT ANYWAY because God is more important than the rest of them.

We were bold.

She came to church :)

Also this week, I witnessed my first big fat miracle, the kind that you tell your kids about years after, the kind that you never ever forget.

We were visiting, yet another, less active member, reading the Book of Mormon together to help out her testimony, and her 23 year old son, Fabian, came in and started chatting with us a bit. We hadn't even said a prayer, so we invited him to sit with us and read, if he would like. He was very excited and launched into this story of how he was always so happy when the elders would come when they were teaching his mom the discussions, how he always felt their tremendous love, and he ran up to get his own copy of the BOM.

While he was doing that, we asked Hna. Violeni where she was in the BOM. She told us that she was just starting to read 2nd  Nephi 31. And for all those returned missionaries out there, you know that this chapter is magical. The Doctrine of Christ. Hna. V and I were exchanging glances, pure excitement in our eyes. "OH MY GOODNESS LETS BAPTIZE FABIAN" Is what our eyes said.

So he came back down and was all excited and ready, we prayed, read the chapter, and asked him what he felt. He told us that he felt something very strong, something too big for his body, something flowing through his veins. He then gets very serious and proceeds to tell us "I know that this book is true. I know that it is the word of God." He tells us how, when the elders were first visiting their whole family, when they were all taking the discussions, that they invited him to read and pray about the BOM. And how when he prayed, he felt this same sensation- a very strong feeling in his heart and flowing through his veins, and that when he felt this, he ran outside and was stopping everyone and telling them "this book is true! This is the truth! This is the truth!"

So obviously we invited him to be baptized.

I MEAN REALLY, HE KNOWS THE BOOK OF MORMON IS TRUE AND ITS OUR FIRST LESSON WITH HIM!

He starts to cry, and tells us that he is scared that he will be baptized, make this tremendous promise with God, and then mess up. He kept saying "I'm only human, I'm only human." We explained about the Atonement, the power and love that we can feel through it. Seriously, never in my life have I felt the spirit as strongly as I did in that moment. It was something tangible, it was something that everyone was feeling and everyone knew that it was the spirit, and that is something truly beautiful.

I know that this church is true. I know that the spirit is something very powerful, it is something that changes lives. I am so thankful to be here, to be a missionary, and to be an instrument in Gods hands to help people know of his love. There is nothing I would rather be doing right now than to be here, in Chile, helping in this marvelous work.

Be bold, everyone :)

Hermana Harkins

I have blisters on my toes that are the size of my toes

#missionarylife #limpingfordayssss #thatsprogress

Oh wow. I'm hash-tagging.  I'm such a weirdo.

BUT this week ROOOCKED. I know I mentioned last week that I would probably have changes and be transferred somewhere new...so lets start with that news...

Saturday night is when you find out the news, and then changes on Monday. So our zone leaders call us and tell us that we are BOTH leaving, both receiving new areas and new companions. It's not too uncommon, our President loves that sort of thing, but we were still a little in shock, and totally bummed.

"Just kidding."

Oh Elders...NOT A FUNNY JOKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT!

Hermana Velazquez and I are together in this area for at least one more change, and let me tell you, we were screaming like girls at an N SYNC concert jumping up and down and she was hugging me so hard that I couldn't breathe. "No puedo respirar, no puedo respirar!" We are SO HAPPY and SO EXCITED to continue working here, and with these investigators and members that we have come to love so much. Crazy that by the end of this change, I will have been in this area for 6 MONTHS and with the same companion for 3 changes, but I am NOT complaining :) So excited to keep hastening the work here in Cinco de Abril!

To start out, I want to tell some GREAT stories about our investigator, Benjamin. We have been teaching him for 3 months now, he is practically baptized, but always had a problem of not feeling the spirit. We told him many times that if he just reads the BOM and prays with real intent, he will receive an answer, and he will feel the spirit. We have shared what feels like every scripture about how to feel the spirit, shared so many personal experiences about it, and he still reports that he feels nothing. Loves the gospel and its teachings, but just can't feel the spirit. So frustrating, for us and for him.

But this week, we had a baptism in the ward. And it is golden to invite an investigator to a baptism. 9 out of 10 investigators who attend another person's baptism will more likely be baptized themselves, because this ordinance is just so powerful! So obviously, we invited him.

And finally...FINALLY...he felt it! He felt the spirit!

I was sitting next to him during the actual ordinance, and when the brother being baptized was immersed in the water, Benjamin quite literally gasped and said "How beautiful." "Que bonita." And as we were walking back into the chapel to hear the talks for the baptismal service, he told us that he felt weird, that he could feel something in his chest like a burning, and Hna.V and I were practically tripping over ourselves to tell him that ITS THE SPIRIT ITS THE SPIRIT REMEMBER THIS MOMENT FOREVER BECAUSE BENJAMIN GUAL, YOU ARE FEELING THE SPIRIT!

Happy Day :)

So now, he knows what it feels like, and everything has changed since then. He has picked up on his reading in the BOM- we all started reading it at the same time, and while Hna. V is in 2nd Nephi 3 and I am in 2nd Nephi 9, he has now finished up Jacob. And when we called him Sunday morning to remind him about church, he told us that he was already dressed and ready to go, which is truly a miracle. I know that these are small things, but they are evidence that his testimony is growing and that he is hungry for more, hungry for more of that burning in his chest.

And then, during Sunday School, we were in the class with investigators and recent converts, and we were talking about the Holy Ghost. How absolutely fitting. And you know what he did? He raised his hand and shared his experience about feeling the spirit at the baptism. How us Hermanas told him several times about it, and he thought we were crazy, but how when he finally felt it, it was "something extraordinary." "una cosa maravillosa."

I felt like a prideful mother whose son just made the winning goal. When your investigator bears testimony of something that you have been working so hard for them to feel and know to be true...there is a huge sense of accomplishment. We feel more certain every day that he WILL be baptized. PLEASE pray for him!

Something else from these week that made for an adventure- for four days, we were in a trio! One of the sisters that we live with had to go home due to illness, so Hna. Rivera joined our companionship of love and awesomeness for the four days left before changes, and it was SO FUN. One day in our sector, one day in hers, for four days. And let's be honest, I have heard some horrific things about trios, especially when it is 2 Latinas and 1 Gringa. But it was absolutely delightful! Maybe it was because we were already friends from living together, but we were able to teach with harmony and with the spirit, and we had the best time planning to match and taking pictures every day and my opinion of trios has officially changed. 

Fun fact! Janice Kapp Perry served in the Santiago Chile West mission a few years back, and when she was here, she wrote a mission hymn. TRUE. STORY. Officially the best mission ever, because we have a Janice Kapp Perry hymn to back us up. You can't even argue about that! Its not pride, its just truth.

Another small triumph from this week- we are visiting a less active brother who has a tremendous desire to come back to church, but is a little difficult because his wife is very much against the church. But still, we are super kind and put in the effort to talk to her and be her friend. You can't talk about the gospel until you are friends, that is something that I have learned here in Chile. And yesterday, she sat in on our message. And SMILED. And when we asked if there was anything that we could do for them, she told us that they had an abundance of peaches from their peach tree and could not possibly eat them all, so could we please take 2 or 3 or 12? From scowling and stomping upstairs when we came to visit to smiling and giving us humongous and sweet peaches...small triumphs, people. Small but huge and delicious triumphs.

Also, I got two packages this week! One from Marcy and one from Steve, talk about mega LOVE! Thanks, you two :) How could I live without your perfect love?!

Well, I'm signing off for the day. Be Bold, Stay Rad, Do What You Do, relish your testimony and love for the gospel, so much that you cannot contain it and have no choice but to share it with EVERYONE! Love y'all :)

Hermana Harkins

Marcy- Heard Pompeii in the Farmers Market this week and I had a lovely freak out moment and I thought of you :) Loves :)

This week, I learned a thing or two about unity- something VERY important in the mission field! I have seen a number of good examples, being fortunate enough to be a living example with my ROCKIN COMP, I have seen some dismal displays of communication, and have had the blessing of witnessing a change, of seeing someone give true effort to have more unity in their family. I love the mission. Who says you need to baptize to be successful and learn during your time in the field? NOT THIS CHICA.

Lesson Number One: This Tuesday, my comp came down with something awful, headaches and stomachaches and being dizzy and falling down while trying to walk from the bed to the bathroom...needless to say, she was chained to her bed for the day. Real unity is when your comp is sick and you don't need to ask what you can do to help- you already know that she wants lemon mate and her manual for Principles of the Gospel to read in bed. We have some rad unity.

Lesson Number Two: Fernanda is a recent convert that we visit 1-2 times a week. She is totally golden in the gospel, is one of the strongest converts I know, but struggles with her two young daughters- patience is a virtue that we are not all blessed with, and it is not one of Fernanda's God-given talents. She was having a particularly difficult time this week, and was in need of advice on how she could talk to her daughter.

I thought of the story that my mom (best mom everrrrr) always tells when on the subject of communicating with Mitchell and I- how with me when I was a kidlett, we cuddled on the couch and watched Oprah and during the commercials, I would tell her about my day. And if I had something I needed to talk about, I would crawl into bed with her and tell her exactly what I was feeling, and she would tell me what I needed to hear. But with Mitchell, it was different. She had to lay on the floor in the dark so he didn't have to look at her in order to talk to him about the tough stuff of life.

I told Fernanda about my mom, how she adapted her form of listening to how her children felt most comfortable communicating. She looked at me like I was crazy, but I challenged her to try it, just to see if it would work. To lay on the floor in the dark and talk to her daughter.

IT TOTALLY WORKED!

In our next appointment, she was excited to report that they had a wonderful conversation, resolved some problems, and are now closer. Way to go Kim Harkins, your example carries on to Chile.

Woot!

Lesson Number Three: Just picture this for a sec- Hermana Velazquez and I finding a big path of dead leaves and getting really excited and linking arms and stomping through the pile because we are both weird about loving the sound of crunching leaves. We have changes this next week, and it is almost certain that I am leaving. I have loved my time with Hermana Velazquez. She has shown me how wonderful it can be to be a part of this work with someone that you truly love. Not just that you love because they are your comp and that is what you are supposed to do, but because you have had experiences together that make you best friends. It is beautiful and I will miss her!

Lesson Number Four: Our AWESOME ward! The unity that we as missionaries have developed with the Lo Errazuriz ward is so wonderful. We had a ward family home evening this Friday night, put on by us missionaries, and we had so much help from the ward, and not only in pulling together the activity. The 6 of us missionaries all had lots of investigators at this FHE, and we didn't have to worry about any of them being alone, because they all have friends in the ward. They all have AT LEAST one person that they know, that they can sit with, that we can trustfully leave them with and know that they are being taken care of. I love how this ward participates with the mission work. It basically rocks.

Lesson Number Five: "Hermana Harkins, you are my missionary favorite." :) ok, so it's not an example of unity, but one of the youth in our ward said this to me in English, it was a sweet moment.

I want you all to know that I love being a missionary. I love being a part of this work and having people stare at me and my blond hair and my name tag and knowing that just by being here, I am an example. I love teaching people and helping lay foundations of the gospel. I love the lessons that I am learning, especially being happy in trials. I love knowing that, while my mission is not going perfectly with 2 dozen baptisms, that I can keep genuinely smiling and be happy with laying foundations. I love this Gospel. I know its true.

Be Bold, Stay Rad, Do What You Do :) Also, go to The Tortilla Bar in Provo before in closes, have a delicious empanada and think of Hermana Harkins :)

-Hermana Harkins