Ba da ba ba ba...I'm loving LIFE

Guys, training is FUN :)

For starters, my new companion is a total doll! Monday afternoon we had lots of trainings, Tuesday morning we went to the TEMPLE MY FIRST TIME IN OVER A YEAR OH MY GOODNESS IT WAS SO AMAZING, and Tuesday evening we got our greenies. It was all a little nerve-wracking and gave me some crazy butterflies in my stomach. It would be nice to know before who your companion is going to be, her name, what she's like, how old she is...but President is very wise and he interviews all the new missionaries before assigning them to their trainers, he's great, isn't he? Then the way that it goes is that the new missionaries get the name of their companion and they have to come out and find us. We were all lined up outside the chapel with our backs towards them and they had to come out and search our tags to find their trainer.

And my comp, she's adorable. My first impression of her was a humongous hug and her squealing "I AM SO EXCITED!" Her name is Hermana Damian, she is 23 years old, from Peru (Lima, the capital), she is a convert as of 4 years ago, there are 6 siblings in her family and she is the second youngest, only one of her older brothers is a member, her parents are separated, her mom passed away a year ago from bone cancer, she is a very mature but fun-loving missionary who has the craziest amount of excitement for the work. It was literally the very first thing she told me, and it is the truth! We dropped her bags off at the pension and got right to work. We even had special instruction to work an hour later than usual, just to really get them broken in.

It was the best. She was just so excited to talk to EVERYONE. With every person we contacted, she launched right into "We are missionaries!" And then into her own little spiel of what it is that we teach. It was just the cutest thing, she was so excited to say that WE are missionaries and WE are here to teach and WE are here to help people come unto Christ. I now understand why people say that it is the best thing ever to have a greenie, because they just are crazy stoked to talk to absolutely everyone about the gospel. Or maybe I am just a prideful mommy and I think that my little Hermana Damian is the best thing ;) maybe it's a little bit of both ;)

And I'll be honest, at first I was a little nervous, wondering if I have what it takes to train someone how to be a missionary. Those normal self doubts that Satan always tries to plant in your head, you know how it can be. I felt a huge responsibility on my shoulders, and I did not want to mess it up. But almost immediately, I realized that she knows so much. She has been so well prepared. She has absolutely nothing to hold back, every time she shares her testimony, she just pours out her whole soul to the person. Every time we contact someone in the street, she recognizes their worth as children of God who NEED the gospel, and she speaks to them with such love and urgency to share the message of the gospel. It is a beautiful thing to witness. It is so cliche of me to say, but I really don't even feel like I am teaching her. She is teaching ME. I am simply an instrument in the Lord's hands in helping her to reach her beautiful potential as a missionary.

And it's just so FUN :)

And this week was full of some amazing experiences. It was our most successful week in this sector in my whole time here. We contacted almost 130 people! That is a lot of children of God! And it was a good first week for a new missionary; she invited a few to baptism, to come to church, we changed lesson plans once or twice because the spirit told us that what we had planned was not what they needed to hear, and at the end of it all, we have come out like those friends that say "Ive only known you for a week, but I feel like I have known you forever!" We are always talking and laughing and sharing our personal experiences and it's all just so mushy, I know, but I am just so happy with it all!
One of the greatest experiences of the week happened with a less active family that we have been helping for a while. On Saturday, we just went crazy teaching people, we wanted to do lots of short but powerful lessons about the Sacrament and the Atonement to motivate people to come to church the next day. At the last minute, Hermana Damian mentioned that we should visit this family. I hadn't thought to because we had an appointment with them for the next day, but we stopped by anyway. And almost as soon as we came into the house, we could tell that something was not right. The mood was very tense and we picked up on it almost immediately. We started talking with them and they confided in us that their car repair shop had been robbed  earlier in the week, and that they were feeling all sorts of anger and frustration and sadness and worry and you know all those icky feelings that come (I know I do). We changed that lesson real quick, shared Helaman (is that how you spell it in English?) 5:12, the spirit was strong, it was a good lesson. Once we finished, the mom in this family told us that she felt that we were going to come by that day. That she had started to organize and clean the house because she "heard a little voice say" that the missionaries were going to stop by. That was when we told her that we had also heard "that little voice" telling us to stop by their house. It's just wonderful when we can recognize that God is in the little details of our lives, he knows and communicates with us, all that we have to do is LISTEN!

Well guys, my p-day time is coming to an end. Until next week, be bold, stay rad, do what you do and let your light so shine :)

Hermana Harkins

The temple!

We hermanas all made signs to welcome our greenies

The greenies coming down the stairs to find their trainers

Hug!

Just some crazy big joy :)

With president :)

You guys will not beleive it

Drum roll...

Guess who is TRAINING!

That's right :) Hermana H :) I feel basically in shock, we had our big mission meeting this morning about changes, and that was where I found out. Lemme tell you, I'm feeling pretty...just, speechless! We will receive our little greenies tomorrow in the afternoon, tomorrow morning we get to go to the temple (OH MY GOODNESS MY FIRST TIME IN OVER A YEAR!!!!), and tomorrow night we get started! We had a little training today to prep us, and as soon as we get our companions tomorrow, we go right to work. Things have changed in this last year since I came to the field. I remember taking a lot of time that evening to unpack my things and my companion was pretty easygoing with everything.

But nope! We have got some pretty high expectations going on here! We even have special permission to stay out an hour later to teach and preach and work as missionaries do, to give our little chillens an idea of what the mission is like. AAAH I AM JUST SO STOKED! I'm not going to be dumb and pretend that I think that it won't be hard, of course it is going to be difficult. But I am still just so excited for this adventure! And to help someone else have a wonderful, missionary adventure, as well.

So if anyone has any training or mothering advice, or anything of the sort, I am open to anything :)
And as for this week in El Manzano, we had some pretty great experiences. We found an amazing individual named Juana, a sweet Evangelist woman that we contacted in the street that immediately expressed her desire to have us come back and share a message with her. We taught the message of the Restoration, and she told us how much she wanted to read the Book of Mormon, even that she feels that the church is true.

She confided in us that the reason that she started going to the Evangelist church is because her husband passed away a few years ago, and she found herself with a hole in her heart and it had to be filled with something, she just didn't know what. There is an Evangelist congregation relatively nearby, and she started going. But upon speaking with her about her beliefs, it was easy to tell that she isn't converted. That she is still searching. I am SO EXCITED to teach her about The Plan of Salvation, she is going to just flip :) And want to be baptized :)

Also today in our changes meeting, we had a special visit from an Area 70, Elder Nuñez. Surprise surprise :) Also next month, Elder Nelson is coming. I dunno, it seems to me like we as a mission have lots of visiting Authorities, for it being Chile, and all. Pretty far away from Utah. But anyway, he lives nearby, and he came to speak to us today, and lemme tell you, it was delightful. He talked a lot about the importance of being obedient- "There is great security in being obedient." He told us that the mission is one big leadership training, if we let it be. That we truly have the responsibility to "resurrect the people who are spiritually dead." He got us all pretty pumped up to go out and work.
But my favorite thing that he talked about was the importance of using the Book of Mormon to teach people. That sometimes as missionaries, we get into the bad habit of leaning more towards the Bible because perhaps people accept it more, maybe it causes less tension, it's the middle ground we have with people...but the Book of Mormon is one of the very important things that sets us apart from everyone else. It's the key to our religion and the most powerful tool that we have, as members and missionaries, to convert and be converted.

So USE IT.

Sorry this is a shorty, my time was cut a little short today. But I love you all! Be bold, stay rad, do what you do and let your light so shine!

Hermana Harkins

We found a cool spot in the country outskirts of our sector

One of our less active members has a baby porcupine...that's normal ;) not really ;)

My comps last day :(

The three hermanas that will be training this group! Hna Mittlesteadt, my ccm comp!

Transfer day

Elder Bertagna, Hermana Salazar, Hermana Harkins

The new hermana trainers

This week, the sister missionaries of Santiago Mision Oeste packed away the tights FOR GOOD

Must be spring time ;)

I am very excited for today's email, simply because I have my soul to pour out. Those are always the best forms of communication, from what I have been able to tell :) The week started out great; everyone in my CCM group got to go to President's house for a special year mark lunch (even though I have less than 5 months left...QUE ES ESTO?!), and it was great to see everyone and have that moment to catch up and share some experiences. We took a picture together as gringos, it was crazy to see how small our group has gotten. Talk about enduring to the end!

We also had a great multi-zone meeting, SO spiritual and fantastic. We talked a lot about El Plan Piloto, it's possible that that little experiment put on by the area presidency will be released to the whole mission work in the world! I hope so, it has proven to be very miraculous. We did a fun activity where we all had a number sticker on our badge from 1 to about 120, and at random moments, President would just call a number, and we would have to go up and share something about what we learned from general conference. I didn't get to share, but my comp and another hermana and I put together a special musical number in less than 10 minutes to sing for the meeting, so I still felt pretty good about the spiritual contribution ;)

Also, side note, I want to be just like my mission president's wife when I grow up! She is a mom of four, mission president's wife, speaks 3 languages as far as I am able to tell, is learning how to speak Latin, and President B made a comment about her learning how to make a new kind of bread this last week for a dinner that they were doing for some friends. I mean, it requires a super woman to be able to do all that! Did I mention that she is also the early morning seminary teacher in the stake where my mission President is also the STAKE President? That is nothing short of divine assistance.

So this week, let's just say it how it is, it is a struggle. I don't even know how to describe it without saying all that I have done before. The only difference is that it seems to be going downhill. In all of our tiring efforts, we are continuing to see next to no progress. It is a huge blessing that my comp and I are such great friends, that we have amazing unity and when we actually get to teach, we do it with the spirit and it's GREAT. But after five weeks of next to nothing, and putting a lot of effort into staying happy and positive, we both fell a little bit. We both had moments where we just cried.
Not crying because of the lack of success, really. But crying because we both started this change with so much energy to work and we still have a humongous love for this sector and everyone in it and we don't even KNOW all of them. And with all that we are doing, nothing happens. I know that we should suck it up and accept that the mission is just LIKE this sometimes, but it's hard. The mission is just hard and you cry sometimes. Saturday was the hardest. We got back to the pension and were just so exhausted, and that ugly little thought had come into my head that was so obviously of the adversary that said "how long do we have to suffer like this until something happens?"

Once that entered my mind, I immediately felt distraught and I pushed it way out. But I still felt alone. As much as I know that God loves me, that my family supports me, that my comp rocks, that I have those that I love and that love me all backing me up, I was not able to overcome in that moment the extreme feeling of loneliness that came over me. I went to bed after planning for the next day hoping that I could wake up and the feeling would have left, but it was still there when I arose the next morning.

But then came the Sacrament :) I just prayed to be able to feel less alone, to receive the strength to keep doing this and to continue on with this energy and love and endurance that I started out with and that I do NOT want to lose. I do not want to get frustrated or negative or discouraged. I only have so much time left to fully dedicate myself to the Lord, and I do not want to waste a moment of it. I just gave my soul to the Lord in that moment. Like taking off a backpack full of boulders.

Side note- for my baptism, some close family friends made a small, patchwork quilt for me that they explained to me was a representation of the gift of the Holy Ghost. I remember Kyle Wilson wrapping it around my shoulders and that being the first time that I recognized feeling the holy ghost, and it was warm and loving and beautiful. You better believe I cherish that patchwork quilt to this very day! Anyway, the point is that since then, the WAY that I feel the spirit has changed, but I have always remembered that first time just screaming YOU ARE LOVED.

And as I sat there in our little chapel in Chile, pouring out my soul to My Maker, I had that same feeling come. It felt like the first time since having the quilt wrapped around my shoulders and feeling the immense love of my Heavenly Father for me. It was just Him saying "you are loved." "you can do it." "you can make it."

I will quote Kim Harkins in an email she sent me a few months back- "Satan relishes in throwing us off track. WE CANNOT ALLOW IT. NOT FOR ONE MINUTE. THERE'S JUST NO TIME FOR IT."

Couldn't have said it better myself :)

And of course there were some great moments this week. It wasn't all blood, sweat and tears (literally.). We found more less active members that are just READY to accept the gospel again in their lives. We found a new investigator to teach, my companion contacted her when she was in divisions while I was at lunch with the President, and at first she said that she was NOT interested, but that we could come back because her husband is inactive. But when we came back and took the time to talk to and get to know them, she opened up more and we were able to share a message with them and invite the spirit into their home, and now she wants to continue listening. I of course am able to recognize all those little blessings. I just know that something wonderful is going to come from all this work that we are doing :)

Guys, the church is true :) I just know it ;) Be bold, stay rad, do what you do and let your light so shine!

Hermana Harkins

Spiritual Exhaustion

You know all those stories in the Bible, Book of Mormon, and prophets in general, where after they receive beautiful revelation and magnificent, celestial visions, they are just pooped? Wake up laying in the grass and aren't really sure how long they had been there? Lehi, Joseph Smith... just pure exhaustion from the crazy level of spirituality?

That's exactly how we felt after conference :)

So we had the blessing of being able to listen to it once again in English, although President laid down a new rule saying that we cant bring "buffets" anymore; little snacks for in between, but nothing huge and extravagant, like we gringos enjoy doing. That of course, was after we had passed some money over to a brother in the ward to do us a favor and go to a special grocery store where they sell Dr. Pepper...haha but we were obedient and drank it in between sessions, coupled with some dried fruits (pineapple and strawberry) and lemon alfahores :) I dunno why, but we just can't do conference without those special little goodies! At least ME, I did after all grow up with Kim Harkins ;)

My list of favorites...
Lynn G Robbins
D. Todd Christofferson (was it NOT the cutest when he said Buenos Dias?)
Deiter F Uchtdorf
Jiorg Klebnegat (his talk was like Alma 5 and 12...PALOS)
Henry B Iyring (the only one that made me tear up)
Richard G Scott
Carlos A Godoy
Jeffery R Holland (when he said Bien Hecho. What a chap.)
and of course President Monson :)

Honestly, I feel such a deep and abiding love for General Conference, much more so than before my mission. I was thinking about it...I have always listened to and loved conference, but I feel that I never truly treasured it until now. To go in with questions that I need answered, as I listened, scriptures came to mind and I was able to receive that beautiful, personal revelation that so many touched on, and it brought me peace and JOY! We are part of such a joyful gospel, and I feel so biased towards the three general conferences that have happened while I have been serving, and of the numerous things that I am thankful to my mission for, I am eternally thankful that it has enriched my appreciation for general conference. I hope y'all treasured it as well :)

And as for the work in El Manzano, we are finally seeing some fruits to all that tiring walking that we've been doing! (My comp and I have both broken some shoes!) We found a woman named Paula. She was receiving the missionaries before but doesn't remember very much, but she did say numerous times that she kept waiting and praying to feel that this is the truth, but that she never received an answer. She remembered that the other missionaries showed her lots of little video clips and taught a lot about the holy ghost, but she was never able to feel that burning in the bosom.

Thank goodness she said that we could come back! There are some situations like that when they just don't see any point to give it another try, but she decided to open her heart once again and let us come and share the message of the Restoration with her. When we got to the point of inviting her to pray to know if it really is the truth, we asked her what it is that she is expecting to feel. She seemed to be caught off guard, and it turns out that she didn't even know what it was that she was waiting for. "Just something magnificent." But that gave us the chance to share that little gem in Galatians 5:22-23 that talks about the fruits of the Holy Ghost. Better believe some of those yummies were present :D haha #missionaryjokes

We also had a touching experience in contacting. While knocking doors, we found an older man named Luis. It took a little while, but he accepted the pass along that we offered and told us that he believes in Christ because of the evidence, but that he does not believe in God. With a little coaxing and Christ-like love, he told us about how he had a family, a house, a car, and a good career. But that because of a mistake that he made, he lost all of it and is now living in this little "shack." He even wept, asking how we could know of such a surety that God exists if he allows such hard things to happen.

It was one of those situations where we couldn't have explained, even though we had the answer, because we knew that his heart just wasn't ready. He wasn't asking to get an answer, he was asking just to get it out. So we simply testified. I know that God is our Heavenly Father and that He loves us, and I know that He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to suffer and die so that the sting of the pains of life are not so unbearable. I know that Christ IS proof that God exists, and I know that God is aware of what Luis is going through, and that He desires that we can all come to Him through Christ so that we can have eternal peace.

He thanked us for our words and told us that it made his day more bearable. He wouldn't let us put down an appointment to come back and he wouldn't accept the pamphlet about The Plan of Salvation that we offered, but he did say that we touched his heart. And that is the most important thing.

So that's my two cents for the week :) Be bold, stay rad, do what you do and let your light so shine :)

Hermana Harkins