I could go for a nice double toasted plain schmear bagel
right about now.
I am going to be completely honest. Because I am Ashlynne
Rose Harkins and that is what I do...this was the hardest week so far in my
mission. Satan is such a JERK.
It all caught up to me this week- trying to be patient with
my investigators, with myself and my Spanish, teaching and helping people and
trying to contact and changing baptismal dates and following the promptings of
the spirit and seeing absolutely no success, zero. When I got called to Chile,
I had this ridiculous image in my head of infinite baptisms- I mean, its South
America, right?
People ASK to be baptized, right? Right?
No.
At one point, about Thursday I believe, the realization came
to me that I have been here for almost 5 months and I have not had a baptism.
And I look around at all the other missionaries, and they are all having
baptisms and are teaching amazingly prepared people about the gospel...and here
we are, changing baptismal dates every other week because "they don't feel
it yet." Every night I went to sleep praying that I could wake up in the
morning excited to be here, to teach and preach and be a missionary, a
disciple, a representative of Christ, but I woke up feeling just as sad and frustrated
as I was the night before.
I had a tough week where Satan was able to wedge his way in
and attack everything that I am uncertain of, every fault that I see in myself,
and convince me that this is why I am not having success in my mission, that it
is obviously the fault of my many imperfections.
But through this, my testimony of trials has grown. On
Saturday, I picked myself up again. I didn't want to- it is so much easier to
wallow in your trials than to put in the effort to rise above them, but I did
it anyway. I know that we have opposition in all things so that we can
appreciate the small, happy moments. I know that God gives us trials to give us
the opportunity to grow. F Enzio Busche has said that our trials can either
distance us from God or bring us closer to Him, but we choose the path that we will take. And I am happy and humbled to say that this week, I came closer to
God through my trials and insecurities- I am better now than I was before.
And we had a little miracle.
Last Sunday, we visited a very inactive member for the first
time, Alexis. Very simple, basic stuff- got to know him, shared a scripture,
invited him to start reading the Book of Mormon, and set up an appointment to
visit him this Sunday. And he came to church! The first time in ten years! It
was amazing! When we got to his house, he was all ready with his Scriptures
and his glasses on the table, he and his sister served us up some ice cream, he
was so excited for our visit.
When Hermana Velazquez asked him if he had been able to read
anything, he said yes, First Nephi. We asked what chapter hes in, and you wanna
know what he said?
...
drumroll...
"Chapter One of Second Nephi."
YEAH. CHAPTER ONE OF SECOND NEPHI, PEOPLE! Hasn't come to
church in ten years, but in one week he read all 22 chapters of First Nephi! I
mean, whoa! Active, temple attending members of the church don't read the Book
of Mormon that fast. When we asked him how he did it, he said that he just read
it on his phone on the bus to and from work. He then told us to wait a sec, ran
up the stairs, and came back down with a bag from the distribution center. He
told us that he had decided to stop by after work on Friday and bought all
sorts of pamphlets and books to study, and bought photos of Christ and the prophets
just for us.
Seriously, I want you all to know that there is power in one
visit! He had not come to church in almost 10 years, and after one visit, he
came to church, read First Nephi, and went to the distribution center to find
more to study about. It's not that I am trying to pat myself and Hna. V on the
back. Its that I am trying to get the point across that no one is a lost
cause. People can come back swinging after ten years. In that moment, the rest
of the frustration and heartbreak from the week did not matter. Because I was
an instrument for God to help his wayward son find his way again. It was one of
the moments where I thought to myself "If I came to Chile just for this,
it was worth it."
And you don't have to have the missionary badge to do it...
Please please please do your home and visiting teaching.
Please visit the people that are hard to love. That are not active. Jesus
Christ did not visit the rich and successful, he visited the sick and the needy
because they are the ones that needed to be healed. Please be disciples and
help people rise up above their trials and COME JOIN WITH US.
Yup, I'm doing the classic
Mormon thing- I want to invite each of you who reads these posts, whoever you
are because my mom tells me it is a lot of people, to reach out to one person
you know is in need. And everyone has a need, so it shouldn't be hard to find
someone, and show them your love and your willingness to help them, to be their
friend. Be BOLD! Doooo it :) Doooo what you do!
-Hermana Harkins
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