Well Here We Are

I can hardly even believe it...but here I am, my last pday sitting here in this little Internet cafe here in la Plaza de Maipu. Today we as the go homer group had lunch with President Barreiros at his house. Spent a few hours in the subway and the bus system to come back. Did some small purchases for the week. It all just seemed so natural...like this is my life. This is my home. This is what I do. I use the bus system and talk to people about the Restoration of the Gospel while going from one end of Santiago to the next. I hear Spanish rap in the streets and sing a hymn in my head. I buy Chilean treats like Mote con Huesillo and come to this little Internet cafe because that is what I do on Mondays.

Because I am a missionary and today is pday, a week just like any other.

You know, I usually write in my planner a small list of bullet points of wonderful things that happened during the week so that I can paint pictures with my words to give you all an idea of what my Chile is like. I love it. I love painting pictures every Monday because I love my mission. I love teaching and preaching and talking to people in the street and on the bus and while we wait in line. I love helping people recognize their beliefs, because even though many believe in God, they just don't know how to put it into words. And I love even more when we can apply the doctrine of the Restoration to what they believe, because it all just makes so much sense, right? A restoration just makes SENSE if we truly believe that God lives and loves and wants the best for us. I even enjoy when people reject us, because it is at least one person that has heard the message. An individual usually interacts with missionaries 7 times before accepting them in their home. Literally EVERYTHING we do is helping the stone continue rolling forward.

I would love to talk about all that I have learned...all that I have come to know about the gospel and about myself and about who I am and who we are and how we can be in the future. I could go on and on about what the scriptures say, recount the first vision with as much vigor as I possibly can muster, I could talk for hours of the testimonies that I have obtained of prayer, study, obedience...faith, repentance and of course baptism. The gift of the holy ghost, one of my personal favorites. How we can endure to the end to receive eternal life.

But for now, I will just leave y'all with a cliffhanger :) I'll share it all with you soon, I promise :) For now, I will simply testify that I know that this church is true. I know that God is our Heavenly Father and He loves us so much. He loves us so much that He sent His Only Begotten Son to be our Savior. They truly spoke to Joseph Smith and through him, the church was restored. I have purpose in my life through this gospel. It is beautifully life changing, and I have seen that in these last 18 months. I have no doubt that this gospel is the plan that God has for us to have JOY in this life and HOPE for the life to come.

I love you all. And I will see you all next Tuesday :) Be Bold, Stay Rad, Do what you Do and Let your light so shine because your light is JUST GLORIOUS.

Hermana Harkins

Me with my mission president and his wife today at their house for lunch

Me sitting at his desk :)

Shortest Email Ever!

I'm sorry, this is the shortest email ever, we had an all day meeting today about how to get a job when we get home. I'm pumped. But it took up all of pday, so this message is to let you know that I am alive and well. I am printing off all the emails I got to read later, thank you everyone who wrote me :) I love you all and can't wait to see you! God lives and He loves us :) Be bold, Stay rad, do what you do and let your light so shine :)

Hermana Harkins

P.S.  Next monday is my last pday, so write me something wonderful!

I dont know what to put as the title of this email

So I just wanted to let the world know...STEVE EVANS IS HOME FROM HIS MISSION! And I got more than 20 pictures of his triumphant return and I am still grinning. It is surreal to think that in just three short weeks, that will be me. I know what you all are thinking..."wow, just three weeks. That is so short!" But what I am thinking..."wow, three weeks. That is enough time to find a miracle and baptize a family."

So, I am going to let you all in on a little secret. I wasn't planning on sharing it until I got home, but I must share all that has happened and how it has strengthened my testimony. I truly know that God lives, He loves us, and He knows how to help us to do His will in this life. All that we must do is search for His help and He will always ALWAYS help us.

To start out, 4 weeks ago, I got a call from the mission assistants. The group of missionaries with whom I was going to finish the mission was very big, so much so that my mission President gave us all the decision to return in the beginning of February (aka TODAY) or at the end as planned. When I got the call, I felt a little shocked, and the elder I was speaking with told me to ponder and pray over it, and to call him two days later with the answer. I know that the answer perhaps seems obvious...STAY! But I found myself thinking "well, maybe I am receiving this option for a reason. Maybe there is something I need to do at home." I honestly didn't know, but I knew that the Lord knew. So I began praying...and fasting...and reading in the Book of Mormon. All of this teaching and testifying that I have been doing, and I got to put it into practice to make this big decision.

In the end, I got a resounding STAY. Alma 29:6. Alma 49:30. So I stayed. Continued working hard. And I quickly found that finishing the mission is tough. It is not just a waiting game of carefully measured patience. It is HARD. It is sadness in leaving my Chilean home, anxiety of trying to work hard right up until the end, striving to take advantage of every opportunity to share the gospel...even frustration at feeling that it is all just much too short. But I stayed strong, knowing that my Heavenly Father TOLD me that I am to stay. There were a few moments where I thought to myself..."Maybe it would have just been better if I had decided to leave early." It was hard, but with the help of my Savior, my Heavenly Father, my companion, and my Mission President, I just kept on chugging along. I kept on going.

And then today, I realized why I had to stay.

We had a special meeting to say goodbye to the 15 or so missionaries that decided to go home early. Because so many left, there were a few changes that had to be made with companionships and mission leadership. And I got called to be a Sister Training Leader, which is an assistant to the mission president, but the sister missionary version.

Talk about Hermana Harkins IN SHOCK! I only have three weeks left in the mission, and you are making me a sister training leader?! It came out of nowhere, and I am sure that my face showed every bit of my surprise. After the meeting, the sister that I am replacing came and talked to me, explained to me the sisters that I am over, which are the ones that need a little more help and attention, what it is that I have to do to go on divisions with them...My President came up and told me that we have a leadership meeting on Thursday...and I am still thinking to myself...WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

But I get it now :) God knew that this was going to happen, and He needed me to STAY. He needed me to stay in my sector, stay with my companion, and to help these sisters that I have the privilege to work with. God moves in mysterious ways, but all we have to do is TRUST Him and His mysterious ways. I know that if we search for His will, He will reveal it to us. Even if trials come, even if it gets tough, eventually we will ALWAYS be able to see exactly what it is that He has planned for us. I know that He lives and loves us. He has a plan for ME. And for YOU. And for US. So be bold, stay rad, do what you do, and let your light so shine!

Hermana Harkins

p.s. 22 days

We made a new tab in our Area Book titled "On Vacation"

Due to the fact that TWELVE of our investigators left for vacation this last week, it was necessary. I think it's just a Chile thing, in January, everyone just leaves. And they don't come back till, like, March. What is that all about?! It is WAY more important to listen to the missionaries and get baptized. Obviously. But hey, what can ya do?

KEEP PRESSING FORWARD! #2nephi3120

Due to lack of time, I will get right to the point and share an amazing experience that we had this last week with a couple that we found knocking doors- Dionel and Edilia. Our plans fell through, so we just started knocking in the street where we were, and there they were, just sitting on their front patio. So we started talking to them and found out that Edilia was baptized about 30 years ago with her daughter. She has many fond memories of the church, but when they moved here, they stopped going and quickly became inactive. Dionel was never baptized, but always supported his wife and daughter in their decision.

Upon talking with them a little bit more, we learned that Dionel had just left the hospital after months of tests and procedures. They had just gotten home about 20 minutes earlier,and were sitting on their porch because, after so much time in the hospital, they had missed the simple pleasure of just being at home. Edilia told us that it was a miracle that he had been released...the doctors were convinced that he would have to be in a home for the rest of his life due to the severity of his illness.

One thing led to another, and the next day, we returned to their home with the elders to give Dionel a priesthood blessing. It was one of those experiences that is hard to describe and impossible to forget, simply because the spirit was so strong. I have found over the course of my mission that it is very difficult to describe the spirit, because there just aren't words. There aren't words enough to describe the joy that our loving Heavenly Father knows Dionel. He knows his needs. And that he loves his children enough to give them what they need in the moment that they need it. Edilia expressed over and over that she knows that God sent us, that the timing was just too perfect to be a thing of luck or chance.

That is another thing that I have learned in my mission. Luck just doesn't exist. Because God lives and He loves us and He has a beautiful plan for us, and luck just doesn't do it. I know that Our Heavenly Father knows us all individually.

Sorry it was short, pero no se preocupe, I'll be home soon :) I'll make up for it :)

Hermana Harkins

Baptisms and Rain Sticks

Ashlynne wanted everyone to know that her update this week will be short. 

As a missionary who will be completing her service soon, the mission allows those missionaries to invite their whole "Chilean family" to say goodbye to them the Sunday before they return home.  Ashlynne describes it as "one big happy testimony meeting."  Her internet time this week is being spent sending invitations to all the wonderful people she has met over the past 18 months.

Please keep Ashlynne in your prayers.  Your faith and prayers have made a tremendous difference and are continuing to bless Ashlynne as she serves the people of Chile.

We helped a little chiquilla get baptized this week, she's cute, huh?

Chilean rain stick, true story

THE FIRST DAY OF MY LAST CHANGE

I officially have 6 weeks left. One change. 42 days. #surreal But akunamatata, this chick isn't trunky. Para. Nada. You can look at it this way- 6 weeks left...or 6 weeks left TO WORK SO HARD! I am so excited to end it all off with a bang. Peñaflor, you better just watch it. My testimony is just about to explode.

This week was full of interesting experiences. We found that many of the people that we are visiting are either progressing beautifully or stubbornly staying put just as they are...it's interesting as a missionary to try and discern which of these children of God we need to continue fighting for and which ones we need to let be for a moment. It was one of the first chances that my companion has had in her mission in needing to let people go, and she posed the argument of "But they are all children of God, and He wants us all in the Celestial Kingdom."

It's tough sometimes, being a missionary. Because what my companion said is true, God desires that we all can return to live with Him in His presence. And we can teach and preach and testify and minister with our whole heart, might, mind and strength...but if they choose to deny it, there is nothing we can do. I remember once that Elder Holland said "Sometimes I just wish that people didn't have agency." Classic Holland quote, right? But I feel like, at one point or another, we all feel that. We all feel that frustration at seeing people that we love making choices that will bring them misery. We just want to shake them and say "STOP IT!" We want to take them by the hand and yank them over to the other side, onto the path that we know brings happiness and peace, we just want them to ACCEPT IT ALREADY!


But we cant.

Because GOD'S plan is that we can make our own choices.

It's interesting, because He knows that we are going to fall and scrape our knee and cry, even if we knew that, in that particular path, there were boulders and obstacles to trip over. But that is why He gave us the marvelous gift of the Atonement of His Only Begotten Son. Goodness, I could go on all the day about the Plan of Salvation of the Atonement of Jesus Christ...But I will save that all for another day.

In this week, we had an amazing experience with one of our investigators named Victoria. We found her while knocking doors, and right up front, she said "Look, I'm Catholic." But we continued chatting with her, and after a while, she let us make an appointment to come back and visit her. In the first visit, we felt prompted to talk about the Book of Mormon. She admitted that she loved reading scriptures and that she reads the Bible every day, so we invited her to read a little of the Bible and a little of the Book of Mormon. At first she was sceptical, but then we went on to read in the introduction of the Book of Mormon, the part where it invites us all to read, ponder and pray.

She was reading it out loud, and when she got to "pray", she gasped a little and paused. She looked at us and said "I just felt the most wonderful feeling when I read that! Like something inside of me begging me to do it!" And she just smiled joyfully and continued reading. Talk about best opportunity EVER to testify of the power of the Holy Ghost! It was just so great with her because she immediately expressed how she felt. I know that our investigators before have felt the spirit, but very rarely do they tell us so directly. Many times it is a small smile or maybe a tear, or you can see the chills on their arms, or something like that. But it was wonderful because she TOLD us, and it let us have a conversation about Gods love and desire to manifest to us the truth of His church.

In the next visit, we taught her the fullness of the message of the Restoration, and the same expressive joy came when we were quoting Joseph Smith's Vision. You could just tell that she was imagining herself THERE, perhaps watching Joseph from a far, maybe an angel just anxious to see the look on his face. I don't know, maybe it's not so romantic, but it's nice to think that it was the spirit testifying to her that YOU KNEW THIS BEFORE. THIS IS NOT A NEW MESSAGE. THIS IS THE TRUTH. In that visit, we invited her to be baptized on February 2nd and she accepted. We were really excited.
And then Saturday came. We had an appointment set up for her and we were excited to teach her about the Plan of Salvation, knowing that her family is the most important thing to her, and that this plan that God has for us would touch her heart. But she greeted us at her gate with tears in her eyes, telling us that her husband didn't want us to keep coming, and that it was maybe best that we stopped coming by.

Ugh. Heart crushing.

Now, I don't share this experience to bum y'all out. I share it because it taught me a lesson in agency. Also about God's timing. At some point in the future, she is going to be able to accept the gospel, she will be able to exercise her agency without anyone or anything holding her back, and that moment is going to be gloriously joyful for her. Even though it's sad now, even though it hurts, even though as we walked away, we were trying to construct a plan to continue helping her, perhaps right now is not the moment in which God planned that she could accept this gospel. But I trust Him. And I trust His plan. And I know that the day will come in which Victoria can freely say "Yes Lord, I will Follow Thee."

So Be Bold, Stay Rad, Do What You Do, and Let Your Light So Shine.

Hermana Harkins

Just me and my comp enjoying that burning Chilean heat :)

We bought a watermelon :)

Gotta take a picture with the sign directing us to the hospital :)

Got home from the doctor appointment and the girlies that we live with got me my favorite things; what gems :)

A member gave us sushi :)

Me and a girly in my ward were matching yesterday without even trying :)

Us ward missionaries together yesterday; we had changes today, so of course we all had to get a final picture together

My companion from El Abrazo, Hermana Marquez, went home today; had to get a final picture together

Happy New Year :)

I remember New Year's Eve last year in that little pension in Los Errazurriz, making my very mission centered goals for 2014, thinking to myself "This is the only year in my whole earthly lifetime that I will be serving a full time mission. I hope that it feels like the longest year of my life." Well, I am here to tell you that it was just the opposite...2014 ended up being the fastest year of my entire life. I reflected on 2014 this last Wednesday night (as a pension we made pizza and stayed up till midnight to see the fireworks), and all I could think of was how fast it all went. Its interesting...all of my goals last year were for the mission. Almost all of my goals for 2015 are, well, trunkie. So I will just wait to think about them until I get home ;)

I actually wanted to share a great experience that we had this last Wednesday. it was New Year's Eve and we had received special instructions to return to our pensions, safe and sound, an hour earlier than usual, and to return earlier if we felt that people were going a little too crazy. Hermana Damian and I were determined to work up until 8:00, taking advantage of every moment to work. Our hopes got a little dashed as we found that everyone that we had planned was out of town or had family and friends over, loud music, BBQ out front...and not too willing to accept a message from the missionaries. Phooey.

BUT WE ARE DETERMINED MISSIONARIES WHO ENDURE TO THE END!

And at 7:30, we found a new family of investigators to teach :) Just one of those moments where you recognize that God blesses us for our efforts to endure, to work hard, to be obedient...one of the hardest days of the year to work, as missionaries, and we found a family! I love that!

I also have an epiphany from my studies that I want to share. (I'm sorry if you don't want to hear about my studies...I only have so many pdays left, and I want to share my studies! So ha!) Anyone who is even a little bit involved in mission work right now knows that it is very important to help and support the people who have been recently baptized. The problem is that in this zone, many- MANY- of the recent converts are inactive. They get baptized, and within one or two months, they have completely stopped coming to church and accepting the missionaries.

In our sector, we have 4 recent converts and none of them have come to church in over a month. We have tried everything that we can think of to help them, and it feels like nothing works. We have even gotten to the point of writing them letters with scriptures to read and activities to do, looking for the meaning and application of the scriptures, expressing how much we care about them...The only thing I can think of to describe it is that it makes a missionary sad. To see someone who, very recently, felt so full of love and testimony to make the choice to be baptized, and for some reason or another, they just...fell.

So I was reading the Book of Mormon, in one of the best parts, Alma 26. Verse 6.

Yea, they shall not be beaten down by the storm at the last day; yea, neither shall they be harrowed up by the whirlwinds; but when the storm‍ cometh they shall be gathered together in their place, that the storm cannot penetrate to them; yea, neither shall they be driven with fierce winds whithersoever the enemy listeth to carry them.

WHEN THE STORM COMETH THEY SHALL BE GATHERED TOGETHER IN THEIR PLACE.
Guys, this life is just hard. We don't preach that it will be perfect upon being baptized, we preach that we will have the ability to endure with FAITH and HOPE for a BETTER WORLD. We preach that we will receive a portion of the spirit of God, the GIFT of the Holy Ghost, to always be with us, should we live faithfully, to help us and to guide us. We teach that we can partake of the sacrament each week to renew our covenants, our cleanliness, to keep the stream steady of blessings and companionship.

We need to be "gathered together in (our) place." And we need to help them continue being "gathered in their place."

That's my epiphany. It pierced me.

I'm sorry that this is short, there was a problem with the connection and my time has been cut short, pero no se preocupen :) we can talk without any sort of Internet disconnection here soon :) Be bold, stay rad, do what you do and let your light so shine :)

Hermana Harkins