So this one time, I got sick for a whole week.
Pretty sure it's one of the hardest things that can happen to a missionary that actually wants to work- is to get sick and not be able to leave. But lemme tell you, I learned SO MUCH this week, I can hardly even handle how much I have learned, I am so stoked to share it with y'all :)
Let's just be honest and down to earth here; I was SO frustrated at first! It seemed to be just a good old fashioned cold, and I'm like, come on people, I'm a missionary and missionaries endure to the end! Lemme put a pack of cute tissues in my pocket and a thick, warm scarf and lets go work! But many insisted that I should not leave- from members to my companion to mission medical. "Just stay in the pension for a day, sleep it off, and we will see how you feel tomorrow. It should end in a day or two."
That went on the whole week.
And I was FRUSTRATED! I wanted to go out and work and bless people, I just didn't feel like I could do that in the house. I felt that there was literally nothing that I could do to help those in my area by staying in the house doing nothing. And to make things worse, I just couldn't sleep. Everyone told me to, but I have become so adjusted to the missionary schedule of it all and I spent many, many hours trying to sleep and with no success. Which just left me with my thoughts. My thoughts of "LEMME GO OUT AND WORK."
It became evident very quickly that I needed a little attitude check. So I continued studying my conference ensign, and talk about finding EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED in Elder Uchtdorf's talk, I mean, WOW! My companion and I had a beautiful heart to heart about it all- how, for the world, for the "natural man", it just is not logical to be happy when you are sick and not able to do what you want to do. It is naturally frustrating. But as we truly strive to be happy IN EVERY SITUATION, we can kill that statistic and be the difference, and we can have testimonies of the possibility to be happy in any and all situations. So for about 2 days, I was frustrated and a tad miserable. But after reading that talk, I worked really hard to turn it all around. And it made all the difference.
I tried to see how God wanted us to work in our sector- something that my comp told me is that God works in our sector when we literally cannot, but that there is still so much that we can do to help the children of God that are under our care here in El Abrazo. My study of the Conference Ensign and the Book of Mormon and The Bible all changed drastically once she said that. Instead of reading them to help myself be happy, and read them with our investigators and less actives in mind, trying to discern how it is that we can help them through these beautiful words that I have been reading. And when I stopped thinking about me and thought about them (and not in the woe-is-me-we-cant-visit-anyone form), you better believe I found a mountain of beautiful revelation for these people that we are helping. And it made all the difference.
Twice, we were able to do divisions with other Hermanas. Hna. Marquez left with Hna. Arzola and I stayed in the pension with Hna. Busby. She has about two weeks left before she goes home. so I helped her address invitations for her going away talk so that she could invite all of the people she has come to love here in Chile. I asked her what her advice is for me, someone who still has a good amount of time left on her mission. And she told me something that has literally changed how I think.
"Just do your best and forget about the rest."
Because sometimes, almost ALWAYS, we are put into situations that we cannot control. But we can control our reaction, we can control if we can still be happy and charitable and GRATEFUL in any situation, no matter what else is going on. And if we can look back and see and know that we gave all that we could, we will be happy with whatever the outcome is, because we can be content knowing that we truly did all that we could. It has changed how I think, and it has made all the difference.
So that is how I made it through a whole week in my mission of being sick. I went from Alma 53 to Moroni 6, Matthew 24 to Luke 22, and I finished the Conference Ensign. But what is most important is that I learned from it. I was able to change how I think, and even though I wasn't able to leave and work in my sector how I wanted to, I can look back and know that I really WAS helping; through my slow and steady recovery and studies, I am ready NOW to go out and just work and teach and testify like nobody's business.
And yesterday, I was finally dubbed healthy enough to leave. My comp made fun of me as I bounced in place, greeting everyone as they entered the chapel, and some looked a touch alarmed at how happy I was as they came into the church, but I was just SO HAPPY to be out! I was SO HAPPY to see them! I was grinning the whole time that we walked and walked and walked (pioneer children HA) and contacted a lot, and I was joyful as we finally found people to teach and we could help others come to Christ and I could finally testify of this crazy joy that I have to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. You never notice how much you love and must testify until you dont do it for a whole week after doing it every day.
I know, I am totally rambling, I dont know if any of this made a lick of sense, but you guys, I just love being a missionary. I am joyful in my calling. I love being here and just want everyone to know it.
Stay BOLD :)
Hermana Harkins
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