"Sometimes, it's hard being a missionary"

You all remember that conference talk, right? The story that Elder Holland shared about the sister missionary that got sworn at and food thrown at the back of her head? The talk about true discipleship being a sacrifice?

Better believe that Hermana Harkins had a "sometimes its hard being a missionary" experience! Woot woot I must be a disciple of Christ or something ;)

So it's Tuesday, 7:30, we have been walking all day, all our appointments fell through, we are just trying to find people to visit or people in the street to contact but it's getting pretty frigid so there weren't too many individuals out and about. We walked past a young man, about 19 or 20 years old, and said hello. He didn't say anything back, so we just continued walking. But a moment later, he rode past us on his skateboard and stopped in front of us, making it so that we could not walk past.
And that was when he started firing all the questions at us, another one of those moments like Abinidi when King Noah's priests tried to confuse him and tie up his tongue with their carefully crafted questions. But, just as with Abinidi, we had all the answers and he just kept getting frustrated because he wasn't winning. And finally, he pulled out "Well, how do you even know that Christ exists? How do you know that it wasn't just something that the world invented?"

And that was when we testified. Which is different than answering questions because a testimony is so much more powerful. And I have learned that no one can say NO to your testimony. And in the end, he left swearing under his breath and a scowl on his face. But he couldn't say no to our personal testimonies that  Christ truly lives and loves every one of us, even our wayward brother.

And its true that sometimes it is hard to be a missionary. Sometimes it's hard to be a disciple. But you know what? Its worth it.

So take that, Satan!

Speaking of Satan, I finished The Pearl of Great Price this week! I'm a touch obsessed with Moses 1:2,5,11, and 13-18. I even tried to interpret the facsimile in Abraham. Totally feel enlightened. Afterward, I was so exhausted, like when the prophets in the Bible after receiving revelations. Ha I am such a nerd. All my jokes are about the gospel now. That's what happens when you've been on a mission for TEN MONTHS (this week)

So we found the most RADICALLY PREPARED INVESTIGATOR this week. His name is Juan, he's about 50 years old, teaches History AND believes in God (that's miraculous), we gave him a Book of Mormon when we contacted him, and he is just so beautifully progressing, in the 2 lessons we have had with him, he has said that he loves reading the Book of Mormon, and that he feels the spirit when we teach.

That was actually a great experience- he asked us in the second lesson what we believe that "the spirit" is. We explained about how we believe in God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost, and that this is the spirit. And that it is the way that God communicates with us, the different ways that we can feel it, etc. We went on to teach the whole lesson, and at the end, shared our testimonies.

Once we finished, he sat in silence for a moment, and then said "I like when you do that. When you testify. That's when I really feel that spirit that you were talking about. With other religions, when I asked how they know God lives, they start searching in their scriptures for an explanation, but that's never what I wanted- I just want to know how one can come to know that God lives. And you two do that. And if what you say is true, that this is the spirit of God, well then, all this must be true, because I feel it when you testify."

:) I just love being a missionary!

Oh! Cool quote from my mission President's wife- "Faith without works is dead, but works without faith is dead as well." WHOA MIND BLOWN!

I got a package from Marcy Parcy this week :) a real friend sends skirts and chaptsticks and envelopes, because your best friend knows your needs :) thanks doll!

Another cool thing that happened this week- I felt really strongly to teach an inactive member about being a representative of Christ and what that qualifies of us as members, we planned to teach that to her and everything. But when I started studying for it, it just didn't feel right. But, through trying to study for it, I came across lots of other scriptures of how the holy ghost is the best rep of Christ, and through that, I knew that that is really what we needed to teach her- this sister who has forgotten her testimony, what she really needs to hear is that the spirit will testify of the truth, always. Upon sharing that revelation with my companion, she told me that she came across exactly the same thing for this sister in her studies.

THE SPIRIT IS SO COOL AND THE CHURCH IS SO TRUE whaaaat :)

I learned how to say sunrise and sunset in Spanish this week. Better believe I had the song from Fiddler on the Roof stuck in my head ALL DAY.

Something that I learned about forgiveness this week- there is a family that we visit that went through a rough patch a few years ago because of some poor choices that one of their sons made, and while they claim that they have forgiven him and its all ok now and that they have all moved on, they still make sarcastic, indirect comments about it, and we still find anger in their eyes when the subject comes up.

What I have learned...is that if we are still thinking about it, if we are still talking about it, and if others can still feel the anger and betrayal that you feel, then you still have work to do. There is still forgiveness and love to be given. Some believe that with time, it can all just pass, that we can just forget what happened, and that that's enough.

But it most certainly is NOT enough.

We just need to forgive and love and MOVE ON. And if you don't feel that, then you still have some forgiving to do.

Sorry if this email was a little all over the place, I just learned a lot this week and wanted to talk about it all! Hope y'all are doing well, stay absolutely wonderful :)

Hermana Harkins