I wear socks under my tights because they have so many holes

I must be a sister missionary :)

Ok peeps, this week...it rocked...I cant even get over how much being a missionary ROCKS. There are some days in the mission where you are ok with the idea of it all ending one day...and then there are some days where you would be content with your mission lasting forever. Every day this week, I felt that beautiful contentedness and longing to just be a sister missionary for the rest of my life. I have the best job ever.

To start out, my new 'lil comp continues to be TOTALLY RAD. She is super spunky and positive and happyhappyhappy, she reminds me of Suz Cazanave. Contagious happiness, it is so much fun. We memorize two scriptures every day, one from the Bible and one from the Book of Mormon. We sing in the streets together (hymns, duh). She braids my hair. Yesterday was El Dia Del Niño here in Chile, in other words, Kid Day, and we decided to do a little party. We bought cookies and chocolate milk and put bows in our hair and drank the milk out of paper straws that I got in my care package from Camilly and sang primary songs. I dunno, just fun little details, but it is so much fun! Not saying that my other companions were Debby downers, but I mean, look at the facts! We drank chocolate milk out of cute, paper straws! She's a delight :)

We even ended up going on an adventure to Santiago this week; she has to do a special check up with the doctor once a month and give blood and everything, and I could tell that she was nervous and not looking forward to it. So on the way, we bought little packages of trail mix and bottled peach juice and talked up a storm on the subway, with one another and with others, to distract her. Took pictures by the temple, got the blood donating done quickly, and went on our merry way. It's not every day in the mission that your routine changes so drastically as to leave to go to the capital and to the CCM, and she wasn't particularly looking forward to it, but we made it fun. That's real success.

And as for the work, we had some amazing, strengthening, spiritual experiences this week. I will share three of them.

The first was with an inactive sister that is going through some tough financial and medical problems right now. To support her family and pay for the necessities, like food and bills, she runs a little shop outside her house, selling used clothing and toys, little odds and ends. We stopped by Wednesday afternoon and could tell that she was feeling very down, and she ended up crying and telling us that she hadn't had any success all week, and that she didn't have any money to even buy bread. We shared a message about the importance of putting our confidence in the Lord, and that when we do that, he will provide for us. The sharing of the message took, really, about 10 minutes. Less. But we were there for an hour.

An hour because, almost as soon as we starting teaching, the people started coming. And every time she saw someone come, her smile got bigger and she got more light in her eyes. By the time we could finally say the closing prayer, she had a small mound of coins and bills that all amounted to about 20 dollars. She told us that, every time that we come, she always has business. So much that she has even more than the bare necessities. And that for that reason, she knows that we must be representatives of Jesus Christ.

As we left her house, my companion told me that she wanted to do a little something more to help this dear sister. So that evening, we both went through all of our clothes and put together a good pile of things to give her to sell in her shop. When we went back to her house later in the week, and she saw us with our bags overflowing with clothes, she just started crying again. I just know that there is an infinite amount of ways to help people. Always, you can share the gospel. But many times, there is a little something extra that you can do.

Another great learning experience that we had this week was with a brother in the ward. He has been an inactive member that we have been visiting for quite a while, and recently, I had honestly been considering taking him off of our list because he seemed to be doing so well; coming to church every Sunday, giving talks, he has a calling that he is fulfilling...on the outside, it all seemed to be peaches and cream.

But in visiting with him this week, we found that it was all exactly the opposite. Without giving all the little details, his wife passed away a year ago, he has three kids, he has been without work for six months, and has been trying to do all that he can to fulfill his church calling and help and serve others (we shared a message about the importance of service), and that he feels that he is completely alone. That he just wants someone to come and visit and talk to him, members or his home teachers or SOMEONE, and that he had gotten to the point where he has just decided that he doesn't want to come to church anymore. Really, he ended up venting for about 25-30 minutes. Without stopping. And loudly. Not with anger, just relief that finally, someone was listening.

And honestly, during the whole venting sesh, I had no idea what I or we could do or say. But I learned early on in my mission that we simply cannot fret over what it is we will say; we just need to listen with love and trust that the spirit will tell us what it is that we need to say. Because when we really listen, we will feel what they feel and we will feel the love that our Heavenly Father has for them, and that is when the spirit comes in and speaks through you to tell them what it is that their Heavenly Father needs them to hear and feel. And we were able to do that for him - and Him. To say the carefully chosen words that God had for this dear brother to give him the will to keep going.
(please...just do your visiting and home teaching...even if you think they are ok, everyone needs SOMEONE. TO. LISTEN.)

And the third experience that I want to share happened with Erika, our investigator who I just KNOW is going to be baptized this month. I just know it. We changed her baptismal date for August 31st this week and taught (con poder and autoridad...can't remember how to say that in English, y'all have google translate and i don't...) about the gift of the holy ghost. We really have been working so hard with her, to focus in on her doubts and teach according to what she needs, and yesterday, she said the most beautiful-and then the most crushing- thing...

"I know the church is true. I want to be baptized."

!!!!POR FIN!!!!

and then...

"But I feel like I'm just not good enough."

Satan is such a jerk.

But it gave us a wonderful opportunity to talk about how no one is perfect, before or after baptism, and that all of us, in one point or another, will fall or fail or make a mistake. But that it's OK because for that, we have the Atonement and the ability to repent and to partake of the Sacrament every Sunday. And that anyone who truly has a desire to be baptized is good enough. That was when we invited her for her new baptismal date, and she was honestly HAPPY AND EXCITED for it! And that's how we should feel for our baptism! HAPPY AND EXCITED!

Guys I just KNOW THAT THE CHURCH IS TRUE!!!!

Can't even get over it.

Be bold, stay rad, and do what you do :)

Hermana Harkins

So Exhausting and so WONDERFUL!

Oh my goodness. This week was so exhausting and so WONDERFUL! It's the kind of exhausting that comes from walking and contacting and teaching and doing it all with the spirit and crazy happiness - wonderful from doing it with someone who you click with immediately and so beautifully that the people you contact tell you that the only reason they stopped to talk to us is because they saw us smiling and laughing.

True story. They talked to us because they saw our UNITY. Best ever.

So let's be honest, I was feeling a touch nervous to be senior comp and lead the sector and all, but it turned out to be completely doable and enjoyable. We did a lot of contacting, a lot of teaching, a lot of inviting (for baptism, to come to church, etc.), and a whole lot of getting to know each other. Fun facts, Hna. Davila is a convert of three years, the only one in her family, she loves Diet Coke, her first boyfriend ever was deaf and she learned sign language to communicate with him, and her strongest missionary attribute is that totally rad ability to apply what we are teaching to what we know about the person.

Basically, I'm totally smitten with my comp. The moments in which we are not talking and laughing are few, we totally mesh and have a ridiculous amount of things in common, and what's more, we teach with unity and with the spirit. I had been praying that I could receive a companion that has a true desire to work hard, and someone that I could enjoy my mission with. I wasn't going in with any sort of expectation for her to be my best friend or to be a perfect missionary or anything like that. I know that God answered my prayer with someone who is delightfully what I wanted and truly NEEDED. It is the BEST to be able to work for the Lord with someone who you feel is truly your best friend.

One of those that we visited this week is Nancy. We simply read a chapter of the Book of Mormon with her, since we invited her a few months back to read the whole thing. Little by little she is accomplishing that goal, but we are always there to help her along the way. Somehow, it's all just a little more doable when you can do it together (total double meaning!) Honestly, it was just reading Mosiah 7 together, but it was amazing to listen to her think out loud and apply these simple verses to her own life, and to have the chance to testify that truly, when we read the book of Mormon every day, it will help us in our lives and guide us to know what to do to stay close to our Heavenly Father and be in his path. It doesn't matter where we are in our reading, I guarantee that we will always find something that will touch our hearts :)

Oh, btw, got the best package EVER from the darling lil Camilly X) chock full of USA sweets and candies, a cute banner, paper straws (swoon), scrapbook supplies, nail polish (freaking out), and BLUE TIGHTS. Oh my goodness. Talk about best missionary care package ever.

We also are progressing beautifully with an investigator named Evelyn. This week, we were talking about how we find answers to our prayers through the holy ghost, and what we can do to feel that spirit. Prayer, scripture study, coming to church, ya know. All that wonderful stuff. She confided in us (almost immediately, it was rad) that she feels that she lacks faith, and that she feels that there is something missing in her life, but she cant quite put her finger on it. Talk about best opportunity EVER to bear testimony of how the gospel blesses our lives! It was all I could do to keep myself from bouncing up and down in my seat and yelling "I KNOW! I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED!"
I promise I was calm and dignified as I testified :)

Another great lesson that I re-learned this week; we were invited to have lunch at a member's house this week, and this dear sister is struggling right now. She lives humbly but never stops helping and serving others when she sees that they are in need. She has a co worker that was looking for a place for her and her three young children to live and couldn't find anything. So this sweet sister told her that she could come and stay at her house until she finds another place. Her house was already small and humble, but she didn't think twice; she saw that someone was in need, and she offered what she could. I think we can all learn a lesson. Sometimes we feel that we have so little...but truly, there is always something we can do or give to help someone in need.

Also, a GREAT story that we heard from one of our investigators this week. She was a referral from another companionship that was very excited to accept us in her home, and immediately told us the story of how the other missionaries contacted her. She was leaving for work one morning and was in la Plaza de Maipu, a very busy little city about 20 minutes from El Abrazo. She saw these two missionaries saying hello to everyone (as we always do), and that no one was stopping to even say hello (which happens a lot). She decided that she would be the difference. She was honestly in a bad mood, going through a hard time, but the hardness of everyone else motivated her to be different.
When she approached the missionaries and said hello, one of the missionaries hugged her. And it was so touching and so sudden and exactly what she needed. She hadn't even realized that that was all that she needed to feel better; to simply receive a hug from someone. She felt loved. And for that, she gave her information to the missionaries. Because she felt loved and wanted to continue to feel that same love.

Talk about BEST STORY EVER.

And to finish things off, a great experience that we had with our little pal the holy ghost. We have an investigator named Erika, who I honestly believe is going to be baptized this month, who has received almost all of the missionary lessons. We are to the point of teaching what is called Lesson 5 for us missionaries, which is 6 lessons that talk about temples, family history, service, and others. We had planned to teach her about temples, but as we studied, we both felt prompted to teach her about enduring to the end.

Bueno, we always follow the promptings of the spirit, so we planned a lesson about endurance and doing it with faith and using the Sacrament. But as we got to her house and began teaching her, the lesson evolved into talking about the holy ghost, and how it truly helps us to know the truth.

I just KNOW that this church is true and that our Heavenly Father communicates with us through the holy ghost. Be bold, stay rad, and do what you do!

Hermana Harkins

Guess who is a senior comp!

I'm moving up in the world ;)

So for starters, we received the news Saturday evening that Hna. M is needed in another sector and that she had changes. We spent the better part of the next day saying good-bye to as many of our beloved investigators and less active members as we could, some sad, some insisting that she rebel, and in every house, sharing 1 Nephi 3:7 and listening to her tearful testimony. After 6 months in a sector, you come to love everyone with a strong, Christ-like love (heck, with one change in a sector you love em!). Then came the longest night of every change; the Sunday evening of packing or helping your comp pack, and the treacherously long night's sleep, bombarded with the question of "WHO IS GOING TO BE MY NEW COMPANION?!"

But now, here we are in this dinky little Internet cafe, me and my new companion, Hermana Davila! 23 years old, 6 months in the mission, from Nicaragua, and with a crazy amount of excitement and love for the mission and bursting with girliness and squeals.

I love that XD

I am so excited to work with her, to keep taking care of this sector and continuing with the crazy amount of investigators that we have been finding, 8 in these past two weeks, and it is just so much fun when you can tell that your comp is a spunky little gem who is ready to WORK!

As for this last week in the work of the Lord, we had lots of wonderful experiences and were able to see the progression of many people that we are visiting. I love being here, I love being a missionary, I have the best job ever. No battle :)

One experience was with one of the new investigators that we found this week named Evelyn. She is a cute, young mom that we contacted on the bus, a little quiet at first, but I was honestly amazed at first at how quickly she confided in us once we went to her house and started talking about the gospel. She immediately confided in us about the stress she feels of trying to protect her two sons from the harshness of the world, and how she feels that she lacks faith, and knows that she needs to pray more to feel closer to God.

Its basically a dream come true, for me at least, to find someone who has a genuine longing to protect her family and keep it unified and safe, and then to know almost immediately what her need is. For all missionaries, we try and figure out the need in the first lesson, attempting to know how we can shape the lessons we teach to meet that need and answer the questions that they truly have in their heart. We were able to teach the message of the Restoration to meet her need, testifying of the power of prayer in not only knowing if the message is true, but to feel closer to God and know His will for each one of us.

Another great moment was with an inactive member named Jorge. He has been inactive for many years now, and whenever we share a message with him and invite him to church, he nearly cuts us off in saying NO. He is a sassy little thing, and loves talking to us and being our buddy, but whenever the moment came to talk about the gospel, he disconnected.

Until about three weeks ago.

Because he lots his job, and he is getting nervous.

So this last week, when his wife made us lunch, he came in to sit with us to drink his daily cup of tea, which never happens. He then began to ask us what we have to do to fast. How to start and finish, how long it has to be, if we have to pray or do something special to initiate it, that sort of thing. We explained it all, all the while with cautious excitement, and then asked him why.

He told us that he has come to the point where he has recognized that he has to start doing his part again for the Lord, and that he wanted to fast to show our Heavenly Father his devotion.

Well that is a humbled man if I've ever seen one!

We shared Omni 1:26 and shared our testimonies about the power of fasting, and then told him that we would fast with him. He came to church this last Sunday, and you can see in his countenance that the Lord is working a mighty change in his heart. It was beautiful to see how someone can be humbled to return to the Lord, and not angered to the point of rebelling against Him. Sometimes it takes a crisis, but it is always worth the blood sweat and tears so they can return to our Heavenly Father.

We also had a beautiful experience with an inactive sister that we have been working with for a while now named Luisa. Little by little, we have been hearing her story, receiving, line upon line, the sad details of her hard life. It's all very delicate and very personal, and we have felt such strong responsibility and, many times, God's love for her as we ponder and pray over what it is that we can teach and how we can help her. From the very beginning, we have felt to share about the Atonement, and the first time that we visited her, we gave her a picture of Christ in Gethsemane to help her remember that he is here for us, and ever since then, we have always taught something more about the Atonement.

Two weeks ago, she had a pretty serious operation and had to be in the hospital for four days, and is on bed rest now and for a few more weeks. But the first time that we visited her after her operation, she was so excited to tell us about an experience that she had the day after her operation. She was in a lot of pain, and was praying that the pain would go away, or at least be dulled. She was exhausted and just wanted to sleep, but the pain was so strong that she was left with nothing to do but remain in her pain and exhaustion.

That was when she looked up and saw a framed picture of Christ in Gethsemane. The same that we gave her three months ago that she has had on her bedside table this whole time. Now, people, we are NOT in Utah. It is not the norm to have a picture of Christ in the hospital. And it simply is not a coincidence that she was in the hospital room with, not only a picture of Christ, but THE picture of Christ. And the thought came to her mind "the pain He experienced is stronger than yours, and he is with you in this moment."

And that is just the beginning.

Since then, we have been giving her big reading assignments, and the one that she has enjoyed the most was to read all the scriptures in the Guide for Scripture Study about the Atonement. When we visited her the day she read those, which was this last Thursday, she was practically bouncing up and down in her bed (which she shouldn't have been doing because she needs to rest and lay down on her back), ecstatic to tell us about what she read.

And the thing is, when we first obtain our testimonies, especially about the Atonement, there just aren't words to describe how we feel. She tried to put her feelings into words, but ended up saying over and over how huge Christ's love is for us. She realized that she never really had her OWN testimony of the gospel, and she is just barely going through the motions of obtaining that testimony.
It is beautiful to be here and to witness others receiving their own testimonies. It strengthens me and at times, it moves me to tears to literally see and witness the great change that is taking part in the hearts of the people that we are serving. When I got to this sector, it was pretty dry. And it was hard. But now, 4.5 months later, we are seeing beautiful progress. We are seeing sacred changes. And I am crazy excited to keep working, to keep helping, and to keep testifying, because seeing the change in others makes it all worth it.

I love you and miss you all :) Be bold, stay rad, and do what you do :)

Hermana Harkins

Ashlynne and Sister Marquez with the elders from their ward

Ashlynne and Hermana Parks

Ashlynne and her new companion, Hermana Davila

Ashlynne and Herrmana Rodriguez

Ashlynne and Hermana Davila on transfer day

Ashlynne and Hermana Davila with Elder Bertagna from the mission office

Esta lloviendo perritos y ghattitos

Well we had one of the best weeks everrr LLENO de milagritos and a handful of those little moments where I found myself thinking "wow...I am a missionary!" Maybe it was so fabulous because we couldn't leave all of last week...well look at that, our trials make us so much more grateful for the nice, little things :) wonderful how it all works, isn't it?

We are going to go in a nice, random order :)

1) this Saturday, we had a meeting in a city in our mission called Republica. It's about an hour away from where we are working in El Abrazo, and getting there required multiple bus and subway stops and changes. When we received word that we would be having this meeting, my companion said "I don't know how to get there." But I told her that it's all good, because I do.

Moment number one of "WHOA I am a missionary!"

I know that it is something small and seemingly insignificant to know how to get to one of the meetinghouses in your mission. But I'm just saying, the first time I used the subway system here in the field, it was to get to Santiago, and I remember following Hna. Ortiz like a little lamb and thinking to myself "I am never going to figure out this system!" (I can't like this!) and then, here I am, guiding not only my comp and I, but a group of about 20 elders that we ran into on the way that didn't know how to get there either.

Progress, people :)

And the meeting was great, lots of great personal revelation received for myself, our companionship, and how we can help people in our sector. Plus, we got pendrives with all the conference talks from the last two general conferences to use in the work, and lemme tell you, we all just flipped out. Missionaries are such nerds for that kind of thing, it's the best ever.

2) In our meeting with our ward mission leader this last Friday, he brought up Jesus The Christ, ya know, the HUMONGOUS book with beautiful details about the life of Christ. I told him that I had never read it, and he loaned me his copy. But with a challenge. He told me that if I could read up to page 200 by this next Sunday (July 27th), I could keep it.
Challenge accepted!

Then my comp chimed in and said "But she reads really fast, that's too easy." So he bumped it up to page 250.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

I'm at page 119 :)

3)We put on a little FHE for an inactive member's family where he is the only member. It was about something really simple, how the gospel blesses families and the things that we can do to feel the presence of God in our lives and in our homes. Simple stuff. It's just that the spirit was really strong, and this family, that usually doesn't even acknowledge us when we come by, were smiling and laughing and participating with us. THEY were bearing testimony to US about how much God loves us! It was AWESOME! And it was one of those moments where I found myself thinking "I just never want my mission to end." It is so great to see people progress. It is so great to feel the spirit testify of how much God loves each one of his children. And in that simple little FHE, oof. I felt it.

4) In another lesson this week with an inactive family, the 16 year old teenage daughter came down wearing a Justin Beiber t-shirt. Hna. M and I gave her the hardest time for it, and she insisted that he is crazy beautiful and talented. As we left the house after the lesson, my comp said to me "I just don't get it. Justin Beiber is whiter than white flour." It doesn't even translate correctly to do justice at how BLASTED HILARIOUS that moment was. Perhaps it was the timing, perhaps it was the fact that my companion is a little shy and super sweet, but it was wonderful. Missionaries can laugh too!!!

5) We have an investigator named Cesar, the husband of a pretty inactive sister. He is a huge jokester, always brainstorming a sassy comment to make and a way to lighten the mood and talk about...basically anything but the gospel. We have been pestering for about 2 weeks now for a time when we can come by and teach them about the Plan of Salvation, passing by their house, calling and leaving voice mails, leaving little sticky notes on the gate of their house saying we had stopped by...lots of little pester tactics that we enjoy :) And FINALLY we got an appointment set up for yesterday in the evening.

As he opened the door, he greeted us with "Here they are, the most persistent sister missionaries in all of Chile!" We laughed it off and let him kid a bit before getting down to business and teaching about the plan of salvation. And at first, he meant it all as a joke and was just trying to get under our skin, but as we finished the lesson, we both testified of WHY we are so persistent in being able to come and teach them.

We are persistent because we know that the message we have is TRUE, and that it will bless their lives, and when we can't get a hold of them one way, we will try another and another, until they tell us that they aren't interested, because when we teach about the gospel, we truly are teaching about our salvation.

I mean, do you GET that?

WE ARE TEACHING GODS PLAN OF SALVATION, PEOPLE!

We have the knowledge of what it is that we need to do to be able to return to Gods presence and live with him and our families forever. THAT is what we are here to teach. And so you better believe we are going to be a little persistent, you better believe we will leave voice mails and notes on your gate and continue asking when we can come by, because we have glad tidings of great joy and we don't want a single person to miss out on it!

*deep breath*

6) We are continuing to teach our golden investigator, Juan. This week, we taught all about the Doctrine of Christ. And it was SO RAD, when we taught about the Atonement and the repentance process, he talked about the need to be humble and that really, we can't repent unless we are humble. And its like, we KNEW that, but it was so impressive in that moment!

I mean, you will hear many a returned missionary talk about how much they learned from their investigators. That they learned patience, charity, diligence, a bunch of those awesome, Christ like attributes...that they learned how to teach depending on the person, how to teach clearly and precisely, all sorts of good stuff like that. But you never realize how much you can learn doctrinally from someone who is hearing about the principles of the gospel for the first time, to hear THEIR thoughts, what it is that THEY are picking up and learning from our message.

And Juan learned about humility in repentance. And WE learned about humility in the service of God. That, even as missionaries, the "experts", (nada que ver!) we have SO much to learn. Oh my goodness, the mission is just the best ever.

Be Bold, stay rad, do what you do :) till next week!

Hermana Harkins

p.s. I will be writing on Tuesday because we have changes this coming Monday, so don't be alarmed when nothing comes Monday. I will write Tuesday, with maybe a new comp and/or new sector! WHAAAAT ADVENTURA CADA DIA!

hay gozo delante de los ángeles de Dios por un pecador que se arrepiente

So this one time, I got sick for a whole week.

Pretty sure it's one of the hardest things that can happen to a missionary that actually wants to work- is to get sick and not be able to leave. But lemme tell you, I learned SO MUCH this week, I can hardly even handle how much I have learned, I am so stoked to share it with y'all :)

Let's just be honest and down to earth here; I was SO frustrated at first! It seemed to be just a good old fashioned cold, and I'm like, come on people, I'm a missionary and missionaries endure to the end! Lemme put a pack of cute tissues in my pocket and a thick, warm scarf and lets go work! But many insisted that I should not leave- from members to my companion to mission medical. "Just stay in the pension for a day, sleep it off, and we will see how you feel tomorrow. It should end in a day or two."

That went on the whole week.

And I was FRUSTRATED! I wanted to go out and work and bless people, I just didn't feel like I could do that in the house. I felt that there was literally nothing that I could do to help those in my area by staying in the house doing nothing. And to make things worse, I just couldn't sleep. Everyone told me to, but I have become so adjusted to the missionary schedule of it all and I spent many, many hours trying to sleep and with no success. Which just left me with my thoughts. My thoughts of "LEMME GO OUT AND WORK."

It became evident very quickly that I needed a little attitude check. So I continued studying my conference ensign, and talk about finding EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED in Elder Uchtdorf's talk, I mean, WOW! My companion and I had a beautiful heart to heart about it all- how, for the world, for the "natural man", it just is not logical to be happy when you are sick and not able to do what you want to do. It is naturally frustrating. But as we truly strive to be happy IN EVERY SITUATION, we can kill that statistic and be the difference, and we can have testimonies of the possibility to be happy in any and all situations. So for about 2 days, I was frustrated and a tad miserable. But after reading that talk, I worked really hard to turn it all around. And it made all the difference.

I tried to see how God wanted us to work in our sector- something that my comp told me is that God works in our sector when we literally cannot, but that there is still so much that we can do to help the children of God that are under our care here in El Abrazo. My study of the Conference Ensign and the Book of Mormon and The Bible all changed drastically once she said that. Instead of reading them to help myself be happy, and read them with our investigators and less actives in mind, trying to discern how it is that we can help them through these beautiful words that I have been reading. And when I stopped thinking about me and thought about them (and not in the woe-is-me-we-cant-visit-anyone form), you better believe I found a mountain of beautiful revelation for these people that we are helping. And it made all the difference.

Twice, we were able to do divisions with other Hermanas. Hna. Marquez left with Hna. Arzola and I stayed in the pension with Hna. Busby. She has about two weeks left before she goes home. so I helped her address invitations for her going away talk so that she could invite all of the people she has come to love here in Chile. I asked her what her advice is for me, someone who still has a good amount of time left on her mission. And she told me something that has literally changed how I think.

"Just do your best and forget about the rest."

Because sometimes, almost ALWAYS, we are put into situations that we cannot control. But we can control our reaction, we can control if we can still be happy and charitable and GRATEFUL in any situation, no matter what else is going on. And if we can look back and see and know that we gave all that we could, we will be happy with whatever the outcome is, because we can be content knowing that we truly did all that we could. It has changed how I think, and it has made all the difference.
So that is how I made it through a whole week in my mission of being sick. I went from Alma 53 to Moroni 6, Matthew 24 to Luke 22, and I finished the Conference Ensign. But what is most important is that I learned from it. I was able to change how I think, and even though I wasn't able to leave and work in my sector how I wanted to, I can look back and know that I really WAS helping; through my slow and steady recovery and studies, I am ready NOW to go out and just work and teach and testify like nobody's business.

And yesterday, I was finally dubbed healthy enough to leave. My comp made fun of me as I bounced in place, greeting everyone as they entered the chapel, and some looked a touch alarmed at how happy I was as they came into the church, but I was just SO HAPPY to be out! I was SO HAPPY to see them! I was grinning the whole time that we walked and walked and walked (pioneer children HA) and contacted a lot, and I was joyful as we finally found people to teach and we could help others come to Christ and I could finally testify of this crazy joy that I have to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. You never notice how much you love and must testify until you dont do it for a whole week after doing it every day.

I know, I am totally rambling, I dont know if any of this made a lick of sense, but you guys, I just love being a missionary. I am joyful in my calling. I love being here and just want everyone to know it.

Stay BOLD :)

Hermana Harkins

Happy Fourth :)

Better believe I pulled out the red Audrey Hepburn dress this week and slapped on a navy sweater and ate a hot dog this Friday because that's how we Harkins do things- festive attire and yummy food :D

It was a busy week of uplifting service in the work of the Lord, with a little downfall on Saturday as I caught the bug that's going around and we were confined to the pension with nothing but a runny nose and scratchy throat, mint tea, water crackers, and the Conference Ensign. Better believe I'm sick of mint tea and water crackers. But not the Ensign, pretty much loving that ;) But whatever! We press forward (Saints with steadfast faith in Christ)! And in spite of the illnesses, we had some amazing experiences this week.

One of those was with Lucas, a ten year old boy in an inactive family that we are helping. We are working on helping them read the Book of Mormon together as a family, and with the missionaries before, Lucas was apparently a challenge. A challenge to grasp his attention and make the Gospel something that he wants to learn about. So Hermana Marquez sat and thought it out...what did WE want to do when we were ten years old?

Play games. Duh ;)

So we made a little list of questions of what went down in the first three chapters of First Nephi and played the Chilean version of hot potato with his favorite stuffed animal and had the family try and answer all the questions. And then we had cookies afterward. Por su puesto! The whole time, everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves and they could answer ALL the questions! Even the one about Laman being compared to a river and not a valley. I was totally impressed. And it just goes to show that sometimes you have to change the way you teach according to who you are teaching, but that's ok because you can truly help someone LOVE the gospel and want to do more and learn more. Better believe Lucas is totally stoked for next weeks Family Home Evening :) this being the child that the other missionaries wrote as "difficult to teach".

Also this week, we had an experience that really strengthened my testimony of the power of hymns. Luis is a recent convert, 83 years old, and is very sick. He only has one lung and, because of that, he has a very hard time breathing. It's been hard for years now, but it is starting to get worse. This week we visited him and felt that the only thing that we could do was sing hymns. In addition to his breathing problem, he also has the bug that's going around (he didn't get it from me, I promise!), so he was just miserable and practically crying.

So we started with a prayer, and then Hna. Marquez and I listened for those still, small promptings and chose 4 hymns to sing for him- I Believe in Christ, Lead Kindly Light, The Lord is My Light, and I need Thee Every Hour. The spirit was so strong, and as we finished the last hymn, there was such a feeling of peace and warm love. I know...the words seem so general and hollow, but I have learned in my mission that sometimes, there just aren't words to describe the spirit, and that's ok. Sometimes, we feel the spirit so strongly, and the whole experience is just so celestial, that there literally are no words to describe it all.

What I can say is that we all felt how much our Heavenly Father loves Luis. And because we felt it, we could testify of it. And it was all beautiful.

A cool thought from our Zone Meeting from this week- we are focusing so much on reactivation and getting the members to come to church. We are getting into the really cold days, and there is always a decline in assistance in the cold days. So we are all just working our little tails off to GET THESE PEOPLE TO THE CHAPEL!

But Elder Zuñiga, my zone leader, said something very touching. He said "When people come to church and partake of the Sacrament, they are obtaining eternal life."

BOM.

I think that sometimes, especially as missionaries, we get all caught up in our goals and helping people make and keep covenants...I hate to say the word "numbers", but sometimes we even get caught up in that. In goals and numbers. And that's ok, because behind every number is a person, but it was so good to be reminded of the bigger picture of it all. To be reminded that we are helping our brothers and sisters come to church not just because its a commandment and it will make us happy and to partake of the Sacrament and so many other good reasons...but truly because, when we come to church, we are obtaining eternal life.

I just love that :)

Side note! I started reading the Bible this last Monday, and I'm in chapter 25 of Matthew and chapter 16 of Genesis. Slow but steady, folks :) I'm determined to finish it all before I come home! Also, I'm at President Monson's talk on Love in the Sunday morning session of Conference in the Ensign- let's just say its all so golden. Like the little emoticon with a rainbow falling out of his mouth. I particularly loved THE WHOLE Priesthood session. Aaaaah the church is just so true!

We will close with a quote by the beloved Elder Uchtdorf- "The more we learn about Jesus Christ, the more we realize that endings here in mortality are not endings at all- they are merely interruptions- temporary pauses that one day will seem small compared to the eternal joy awaiting the faithful."
I just love the gospel. And I have found such happiness and JOY in serving the Lord! I am JOYFUL to be here and be bold and do what we DO as representatives as Christ. And, as we heard numerous times this last conference, you do not need to be a missionary to be a rep. of Christ because when we were baptized, WE ALL TOOK UPON OURSELVES THE NAME OF CHRIST AND THAT MEANS BIG RESPONSIBILITY, BUT IT'S ALL JUST SO WORTH IT AND IT'S ALL JUST SO JOYFUL!!!!!!

Exclamation Point :)

Hermana Harkins

"Sometimes, it's hard being a missionary"

You all remember that conference talk, right? The story that Elder Holland shared about the sister missionary that got sworn at and food thrown at the back of her head? The talk about true discipleship being a sacrifice?

Better believe that Hermana Harkins had a "sometimes its hard being a missionary" experience! Woot woot I must be a disciple of Christ or something ;)

So it's Tuesday, 7:30, we have been walking all day, all our appointments fell through, we are just trying to find people to visit or people in the street to contact but it's getting pretty frigid so there weren't too many individuals out and about. We walked past a young man, about 19 or 20 years old, and said hello. He didn't say anything back, so we just continued walking. But a moment later, he rode past us on his skateboard and stopped in front of us, making it so that we could not walk past.
And that was when he started firing all the questions at us, another one of those moments like Abinidi when King Noah's priests tried to confuse him and tie up his tongue with their carefully crafted questions. But, just as with Abinidi, we had all the answers and he just kept getting frustrated because he wasn't winning. And finally, he pulled out "Well, how do you even know that Christ exists? How do you know that it wasn't just something that the world invented?"

And that was when we testified. Which is different than answering questions because a testimony is so much more powerful. And I have learned that no one can say NO to your testimony. And in the end, he left swearing under his breath and a scowl on his face. But he couldn't say no to our personal testimonies that  Christ truly lives and loves every one of us, even our wayward brother.

And its true that sometimes it is hard to be a missionary. Sometimes it's hard to be a disciple. But you know what? Its worth it.

So take that, Satan!

Speaking of Satan, I finished The Pearl of Great Price this week! I'm a touch obsessed with Moses 1:2,5,11, and 13-18. I even tried to interpret the facsimile in Abraham. Totally feel enlightened. Afterward, I was so exhausted, like when the prophets in the Bible after receiving revelations. Ha I am such a nerd. All my jokes are about the gospel now. That's what happens when you've been on a mission for TEN MONTHS (this week)

So we found the most RADICALLY PREPARED INVESTIGATOR this week. His name is Juan, he's about 50 years old, teaches History AND believes in God (that's miraculous), we gave him a Book of Mormon when we contacted him, and he is just so beautifully progressing, in the 2 lessons we have had with him, he has said that he loves reading the Book of Mormon, and that he feels the spirit when we teach.

That was actually a great experience- he asked us in the second lesson what we believe that "the spirit" is. We explained about how we believe in God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost, and that this is the spirit. And that it is the way that God communicates with us, the different ways that we can feel it, etc. We went on to teach the whole lesson, and at the end, shared our testimonies.

Once we finished, he sat in silence for a moment, and then said "I like when you do that. When you testify. That's when I really feel that spirit that you were talking about. With other religions, when I asked how they know God lives, they start searching in their scriptures for an explanation, but that's never what I wanted- I just want to know how one can come to know that God lives. And you two do that. And if what you say is true, that this is the spirit of God, well then, all this must be true, because I feel it when you testify."

:) I just love being a missionary!

Oh! Cool quote from my mission President's wife- "Faith without works is dead, but works without faith is dead as well." WHOA MIND BLOWN!

I got a package from Marcy Parcy this week :) a real friend sends skirts and chaptsticks and envelopes, because your best friend knows your needs :) thanks doll!

Another cool thing that happened this week- I felt really strongly to teach an inactive member about being a representative of Christ and what that qualifies of us as members, we planned to teach that to her and everything. But when I started studying for it, it just didn't feel right. But, through trying to study for it, I came across lots of other scriptures of how the holy ghost is the best rep of Christ, and through that, I knew that that is really what we needed to teach her- this sister who has forgotten her testimony, what she really needs to hear is that the spirit will testify of the truth, always. Upon sharing that revelation with my companion, she told me that she came across exactly the same thing for this sister in her studies.

THE SPIRIT IS SO COOL AND THE CHURCH IS SO TRUE whaaaat :)

I learned how to say sunrise and sunset in Spanish this week. Better believe I had the song from Fiddler on the Roof stuck in my head ALL DAY.

Something that I learned about forgiveness this week- there is a family that we visit that went through a rough patch a few years ago because of some poor choices that one of their sons made, and while they claim that they have forgiven him and its all ok now and that they have all moved on, they still make sarcastic, indirect comments about it, and we still find anger in their eyes when the subject comes up.

What I have learned...is that if we are still thinking about it, if we are still talking about it, and if others can still feel the anger and betrayal that you feel, then you still have work to do. There is still forgiveness and love to be given. Some believe that with time, it can all just pass, that we can just forget what happened, and that that's enough.

But it most certainly is NOT enough.

We just need to forgive and love and MOVE ON. And if you don't feel that, then you still have some forgiving to do.

Sorry if this email was a little all over the place, I just learned a lot this week and wanted to talk about it all! Hope y'all are doing well, stay absolutely wonderful :)

Hermana Harkins