Guess who is a senior comp!

I'm moving up in the world ;)

So for starters, we received the news Saturday evening that Hna. M is needed in another sector and that she had changes. We spent the better part of the next day saying good-bye to as many of our beloved investigators and less active members as we could, some sad, some insisting that she rebel, and in every house, sharing 1 Nephi 3:7 and listening to her tearful testimony. After 6 months in a sector, you come to love everyone with a strong, Christ-like love (heck, with one change in a sector you love em!). Then came the longest night of every change; the Sunday evening of packing or helping your comp pack, and the treacherously long night's sleep, bombarded with the question of "WHO IS GOING TO BE MY NEW COMPANION?!"

But now, here we are in this dinky little Internet cafe, me and my new companion, Hermana Davila! 23 years old, 6 months in the mission, from Nicaragua, and with a crazy amount of excitement and love for the mission and bursting with girliness and squeals.

I love that XD

I am so excited to work with her, to keep taking care of this sector and continuing with the crazy amount of investigators that we have been finding, 8 in these past two weeks, and it is just so much fun when you can tell that your comp is a spunky little gem who is ready to WORK!

As for this last week in the work of the Lord, we had lots of wonderful experiences and were able to see the progression of many people that we are visiting. I love being here, I love being a missionary, I have the best job ever. No battle :)

One experience was with one of the new investigators that we found this week named Evelyn. She is a cute, young mom that we contacted on the bus, a little quiet at first, but I was honestly amazed at first at how quickly she confided in us once we went to her house and started talking about the gospel. She immediately confided in us about the stress she feels of trying to protect her two sons from the harshness of the world, and how she feels that she lacks faith, and knows that she needs to pray more to feel closer to God.

Its basically a dream come true, for me at least, to find someone who has a genuine longing to protect her family and keep it unified and safe, and then to know almost immediately what her need is. For all missionaries, we try and figure out the need in the first lesson, attempting to know how we can shape the lessons we teach to meet that need and answer the questions that they truly have in their heart. We were able to teach the message of the Restoration to meet her need, testifying of the power of prayer in not only knowing if the message is true, but to feel closer to God and know His will for each one of us.

Another great moment was with an inactive member named Jorge. He has been inactive for many years now, and whenever we share a message with him and invite him to church, he nearly cuts us off in saying NO. He is a sassy little thing, and loves talking to us and being our buddy, but whenever the moment came to talk about the gospel, he disconnected.

Until about three weeks ago.

Because he lots his job, and he is getting nervous.

So this last week, when his wife made us lunch, he came in to sit with us to drink his daily cup of tea, which never happens. He then began to ask us what we have to do to fast. How to start and finish, how long it has to be, if we have to pray or do something special to initiate it, that sort of thing. We explained it all, all the while with cautious excitement, and then asked him why.

He told us that he has come to the point where he has recognized that he has to start doing his part again for the Lord, and that he wanted to fast to show our Heavenly Father his devotion.

Well that is a humbled man if I've ever seen one!

We shared Omni 1:26 and shared our testimonies about the power of fasting, and then told him that we would fast with him. He came to church this last Sunday, and you can see in his countenance that the Lord is working a mighty change in his heart. It was beautiful to see how someone can be humbled to return to the Lord, and not angered to the point of rebelling against Him. Sometimes it takes a crisis, but it is always worth the blood sweat and tears so they can return to our Heavenly Father.

We also had a beautiful experience with an inactive sister that we have been working with for a while now named Luisa. Little by little, we have been hearing her story, receiving, line upon line, the sad details of her hard life. It's all very delicate and very personal, and we have felt such strong responsibility and, many times, God's love for her as we ponder and pray over what it is that we can teach and how we can help her. From the very beginning, we have felt to share about the Atonement, and the first time that we visited her, we gave her a picture of Christ in Gethsemane to help her remember that he is here for us, and ever since then, we have always taught something more about the Atonement.

Two weeks ago, she had a pretty serious operation and had to be in the hospital for four days, and is on bed rest now and for a few more weeks. But the first time that we visited her after her operation, she was so excited to tell us about an experience that she had the day after her operation. She was in a lot of pain, and was praying that the pain would go away, or at least be dulled. She was exhausted and just wanted to sleep, but the pain was so strong that she was left with nothing to do but remain in her pain and exhaustion.

That was when she looked up and saw a framed picture of Christ in Gethsemane. The same that we gave her three months ago that she has had on her bedside table this whole time. Now, people, we are NOT in Utah. It is not the norm to have a picture of Christ in the hospital. And it simply is not a coincidence that she was in the hospital room with, not only a picture of Christ, but THE picture of Christ. And the thought came to her mind "the pain He experienced is stronger than yours, and he is with you in this moment."

And that is just the beginning.

Since then, we have been giving her big reading assignments, and the one that she has enjoyed the most was to read all the scriptures in the Guide for Scripture Study about the Atonement. When we visited her the day she read those, which was this last Thursday, she was practically bouncing up and down in her bed (which she shouldn't have been doing because she needs to rest and lay down on her back), ecstatic to tell us about what she read.

And the thing is, when we first obtain our testimonies, especially about the Atonement, there just aren't words to describe how we feel. She tried to put her feelings into words, but ended up saying over and over how huge Christ's love is for us. She realized that she never really had her OWN testimony of the gospel, and she is just barely going through the motions of obtaining that testimony.
It is beautiful to be here and to witness others receiving their own testimonies. It strengthens me and at times, it moves me to tears to literally see and witness the great change that is taking part in the hearts of the people that we are serving. When I got to this sector, it was pretty dry. And it was hard. But now, 4.5 months later, we are seeing beautiful progress. We are seeing sacred changes. And I am crazy excited to keep working, to keep helping, and to keep testifying, because seeing the change in others makes it all worth it.

I love you and miss you all :) Be bold, stay rad, and do what you do :)

Hermana Harkins

Ashlynne and Sister Marquez with the elders from their ward

Ashlynne and Hermana Parks

Ashlynne and her new companion, Hermana Davila

Ashlynne and Herrmana Rodriguez

Ashlynne and Hermana Davila on transfer day

Ashlynne and Hermana Davila with Elder Bertagna from the mission office

Esta lloviendo perritos y ghattitos

Well we had one of the best weeks everrr LLENO de milagritos and a handful of those little moments where I found myself thinking "wow...I am a missionary!" Maybe it was so fabulous because we couldn't leave all of last week...well look at that, our trials make us so much more grateful for the nice, little things :) wonderful how it all works, isn't it?

We are going to go in a nice, random order :)

1) this Saturday, we had a meeting in a city in our mission called Republica. It's about an hour away from where we are working in El Abrazo, and getting there required multiple bus and subway stops and changes. When we received word that we would be having this meeting, my companion said "I don't know how to get there." But I told her that it's all good, because I do.

Moment number one of "WHOA I am a missionary!"

I know that it is something small and seemingly insignificant to know how to get to one of the meetinghouses in your mission. But I'm just saying, the first time I used the subway system here in the field, it was to get to Santiago, and I remember following Hna. Ortiz like a little lamb and thinking to myself "I am never going to figure out this system!" (I can't like this!) and then, here I am, guiding not only my comp and I, but a group of about 20 elders that we ran into on the way that didn't know how to get there either.

Progress, people :)

And the meeting was great, lots of great personal revelation received for myself, our companionship, and how we can help people in our sector. Plus, we got pendrives with all the conference talks from the last two general conferences to use in the work, and lemme tell you, we all just flipped out. Missionaries are such nerds for that kind of thing, it's the best ever.

2) In our meeting with our ward mission leader this last Friday, he brought up Jesus The Christ, ya know, the HUMONGOUS book with beautiful details about the life of Christ. I told him that I had never read it, and he loaned me his copy. But with a challenge. He told me that if I could read up to page 200 by this next Sunday (July 27th), I could keep it.
Challenge accepted!

Then my comp chimed in and said "But she reads really fast, that's too easy." So he bumped it up to page 250.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

I'm at page 119 :)

3)We put on a little FHE for an inactive member's family where he is the only member. It was about something really simple, how the gospel blesses families and the things that we can do to feel the presence of God in our lives and in our homes. Simple stuff. It's just that the spirit was really strong, and this family, that usually doesn't even acknowledge us when we come by, were smiling and laughing and participating with us. THEY were bearing testimony to US about how much God loves us! It was AWESOME! And it was one of those moments where I found myself thinking "I just never want my mission to end." It is so great to see people progress. It is so great to feel the spirit testify of how much God loves each one of his children. And in that simple little FHE, oof. I felt it.

4) In another lesson this week with an inactive family, the 16 year old teenage daughter came down wearing a Justin Beiber t-shirt. Hna. M and I gave her the hardest time for it, and she insisted that he is crazy beautiful and talented. As we left the house after the lesson, my comp said to me "I just don't get it. Justin Beiber is whiter than white flour." It doesn't even translate correctly to do justice at how BLASTED HILARIOUS that moment was. Perhaps it was the timing, perhaps it was the fact that my companion is a little shy and super sweet, but it was wonderful. Missionaries can laugh too!!!

5) We have an investigator named Cesar, the husband of a pretty inactive sister. He is a huge jokester, always brainstorming a sassy comment to make and a way to lighten the mood and talk about...basically anything but the gospel. We have been pestering for about 2 weeks now for a time when we can come by and teach them about the Plan of Salvation, passing by their house, calling and leaving voice mails, leaving little sticky notes on the gate of their house saying we had stopped by...lots of little pester tactics that we enjoy :) And FINALLY we got an appointment set up for yesterday in the evening.

As he opened the door, he greeted us with "Here they are, the most persistent sister missionaries in all of Chile!" We laughed it off and let him kid a bit before getting down to business and teaching about the plan of salvation. And at first, he meant it all as a joke and was just trying to get under our skin, but as we finished the lesson, we both testified of WHY we are so persistent in being able to come and teach them.

We are persistent because we know that the message we have is TRUE, and that it will bless their lives, and when we can't get a hold of them one way, we will try another and another, until they tell us that they aren't interested, because when we teach about the gospel, we truly are teaching about our salvation.

I mean, do you GET that?

WE ARE TEACHING GODS PLAN OF SALVATION, PEOPLE!

We have the knowledge of what it is that we need to do to be able to return to Gods presence and live with him and our families forever. THAT is what we are here to teach. And so you better believe we are going to be a little persistent, you better believe we will leave voice mails and notes on your gate and continue asking when we can come by, because we have glad tidings of great joy and we don't want a single person to miss out on it!

*deep breath*

6) We are continuing to teach our golden investigator, Juan. This week, we taught all about the Doctrine of Christ. And it was SO RAD, when we taught about the Atonement and the repentance process, he talked about the need to be humble and that really, we can't repent unless we are humble. And its like, we KNEW that, but it was so impressive in that moment!

I mean, you will hear many a returned missionary talk about how much they learned from their investigators. That they learned patience, charity, diligence, a bunch of those awesome, Christ like attributes...that they learned how to teach depending on the person, how to teach clearly and precisely, all sorts of good stuff like that. But you never realize how much you can learn doctrinally from someone who is hearing about the principles of the gospel for the first time, to hear THEIR thoughts, what it is that THEY are picking up and learning from our message.

And Juan learned about humility in repentance. And WE learned about humility in the service of God. That, even as missionaries, the "experts", (nada que ver!) we have SO much to learn. Oh my goodness, the mission is just the best ever.

Be Bold, stay rad, do what you do :) till next week!

Hermana Harkins

p.s. I will be writing on Tuesday because we have changes this coming Monday, so don't be alarmed when nothing comes Monday. I will write Tuesday, with maybe a new comp and/or new sector! WHAAAAT ADVENTURA CADA DIA!

hay gozo delante de los ángeles de Dios por un pecador que se arrepiente

So this one time, I got sick for a whole week.

Pretty sure it's one of the hardest things that can happen to a missionary that actually wants to work- is to get sick and not be able to leave. But lemme tell you, I learned SO MUCH this week, I can hardly even handle how much I have learned, I am so stoked to share it with y'all :)

Let's just be honest and down to earth here; I was SO frustrated at first! It seemed to be just a good old fashioned cold, and I'm like, come on people, I'm a missionary and missionaries endure to the end! Lemme put a pack of cute tissues in my pocket and a thick, warm scarf and lets go work! But many insisted that I should not leave- from members to my companion to mission medical. "Just stay in the pension for a day, sleep it off, and we will see how you feel tomorrow. It should end in a day or two."

That went on the whole week.

And I was FRUSTRATED! I wanted to go out and work and bless people, I just didn't feel like I could do that in the house. I felt that there was literally nothing that I could do to help those in my area by staying in the house doing nothing. And to make things worse, I just couldn't sleep. Everyone told me to, but I have become so adjusted to the missionary schedule of it all and I spent many, many hours trying to sleep and with no success. Which just left me with my thoughts. My thoughts of "LEMME GO OUT AND WORK."

It became evident very quickly that I needed a little attitude check. So I continued studying my conference ensign, and talk about finding EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED in Elder Uchtdorf's talk, I mean, WOW! My companion and I had a beautiful heart to heart about it all- how, for the world, for the "natural man", it just is not logical to be happy when you are sick and not able to do what you want to do. It is naturally frustrating. But as we truly strive to be happy IN EVERY SITUATION, we can kill that statistic and be the difference, and we can have testimonies of the possibility to be happy in any and all situations. So for about 2 days, I was frustrated and a tad miserable. But after reading that talk, I worked really hard to turn it all around. And it made all the difference.

I tried to see how God wanted us to work in our sector- something that my comp told me is that God works in our sector when we literally cannot, but that there is still so much that we can do to help the children of God that are under our care here in El Abrazo. My study of the Conference Ensign and the Book of Mormon and The Bible all changed drastically once she said that. Instead of reading them to help myself be happy, and read them with our investigators and less actives in mind, trying to discern how it is that we can help them through these beautiful words that I have been reading. And when I stopped thinking about me and thought about them (and not in the woe-is-me-we-cant-visit-anyone form), you better believe I found a mountain of beautiful revelation for these people that we are helping. And it made all the difference.

Twice, we were able to do divisions with other Hermanas. Hna. Marquez left with Hna. Arzola and I stayed in the pension with Hna. Busby. She has about two weeks left before she goes home. so I helped her address invitations for her going away talk so that she could invite all of the people she has come to love here in Chile. I asked her what her advice is for me, someone who still has a good amount of time left on her mission. And she told me something that has literally changed how I think.

"Just do your best and forget about the rest."

Because sometimes, almost ALWAYS, we are put into situations that we cannot control. But we can control our reaction, we can control if we can still be happy and charitable and GRATEFUL in any situation, no matter what else is going on. And if we can look back and see and know that we gave all that we could, we will be happy with whatever the outcome is, because we can be content knowing that we truly did all that we could. It has changed how I think, and it has made all the difference.
So that is how I made it through a whole week in my mission of being sick. I went from Alma 53 to Moroni 6, Matthew 24 to Luke 22, and I finished the Conference Ensign. But what is most important is that I learned from it. I was able to change how I think, and even though I wasn't able to leave and work in my sector how I wanted to, I can look back and know that I really WAS helping; through my slow and steady recovery and studies, I am ready NOW to go out and just work and teach and testify like nobody's business.

And yesterday, I was finally dubbed healthy enough to leave. My comp made fun of me as I bounced in place, greeting everyone as they entered the chapel, and some looked a touch alarmed at how happy I was as they came into the church, but I was just SO HAPPY to be out! I was SO HAPPY to see them! I was grinning the whole time that we walked and walked and walked (pioneer children HA) and contacted a lot, and I was joyful as we finally found people to teach and we could help others come to Christ and I could finally testify of this crazy joy that I have to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. You never notice how much you love and must testify until you dont do it for a whole week after doing it every day.

I know, I am totally rambling, I dont know if any of this made a lick of sense, but you guys, I just love being a missionary. I am joyful in my calling. I love being here and just want everyone to know it.

Stay BOLD :)

Hermana Harkins

Happy Fourth :)

Better believe I pulled out the red Audrey Hepburn dress this week and slapped on a navy sweater and ate a hot dog this Friday because that's how we Harkins do things- festive attire and yummy food :D

It was a busy week of uplifting service in the work of the Lord, with a little downfall on Saturday as I caught the bug that's going around and we were confined to the pension with nothing but a runny nose and scratchy throat, mint tea, water crackers, and the Conference Ensign. Better believe I'm sick of mint tea and water crackers. But not the Ensign, pretty much loving that ;) But whatever! We press forward (Saints with steadfast faith in Christ)! And in spite of the illnesses, we had some amazing experiences this week.

One of those was with Lucas, a ten year old boy in an inactive family that we are helping. We are working on helping them read the Book of Mormon together as a family, and with the missionaries before, Lucas was apparently a challenge. A challenge to grasp his attention and make the Gospel something that he wants to learn about. So Hermana Marquez sat and thought it out...what did WE want to do when we were ten years old?

Play games. Duh ;)

So we made a little list of questions of what went down in the first three chapters of First Nephi and played the Chilean version of hot potato with his favorite stuffed animal and had the family try and answer all the questions. And then we had cookies afterward. Por su puesto! The whole time, everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves and they could answer ALL the questions! Even the one about Laman being compared to a river and not a valley. I was totally impressed. And it just goes to show that sometimes you have to change the way you teach according to who you are teaching, but that's ok because you can truly help someone LOVE the gospel and want to do more and learn more. Better believe Lucas is totally stoked for next weeks Family Home Evening :) this being the child that the other missionaries wrote as "difficult to teach".

Also this week, we had an experience that really strengthened my testimony of the power of hymns. Luis is a recent convert, 83 years old, and is very sick. He only has one lung and, because of that, he has a very hard time breathing. It's been hard for years now, but it is starting to get worse. This week we visited him and felt that the only thing that we could do was sing hymns. In addition to his breathing problem, he also has the bug that's going around (he didn't get it from me, I promise!), so he was just miserable and practically crying.

So we started with a prayer, and then Hna. Marquez and I listened for those still, small promptings and chose 4 hymns to sing for him- I Believe in Christ, Lead Kindly Light, The Lord is My Light, and I need Thee Every Hour. The spirit was so strong, and as we finished the last hymn, there was such a feeling of peace and warm love. I know...the words seem so general and hollow, but I have learned in my mission that sometimes, there just aren't words to describe the spirit, and that's ok. Sometimes, we feel the spirit so strongly, and the whole experience is just so celestial, that there literally are no words to describe it all.

What I can say is that we all felt how much our Heavenly Father loves Luis. And because we felt it, we could testify of it. And it was all beautiful.

A cool thought from our Zone Meeting from this week- we are focusing so much on reactivation and getting the members to come to church. We are getting into the really cold days, and there is always a decline in assistance in the cold days. So we are all just working our little tails off to GET THESE PEOPLE TO THE CHAPEL!

But Elder Zuñiga, my zone leader, said something very touching. He said "When people come to church and partake of the Sacrament, they are obtaining eternal life."

BOM.

I think that sometimes, especially as missionaries, we get all caught up in our goals and helping people make and keep covenants...I hate to say the word "numbers", but sometimes we even get caught up in that. In goals and numbers. And that's ok, because behind every number is a person, but it was so good to be reminded of the bigger picture of it all. To be reminded that we are helping our brothers and sisters come to church not just because its a commandment and it will make us happy and to partake of the Sacrament and so many other good reasons...but truly because, when we come to church, we are obtaining eternal life.

I just love that :)

Side note! I started reading the Bible this last Monday, and I'm in chapter 25 of Matthew and chapter 16 of Genesis. Slow but steady, folks :) I'm determined to finish it all before I come home! Also, I'm at President Monson's talk on Love in the Sunday morning session of Conference in the Ensign- let's just say its all so golden. Like the little emoticon with a rainbow falling out of his mouth. I particularly loved THE WHOLE Priesthood session. Aaaaah the church is just so true!

We will close with a quote by the beloved Elder Uchtdorf- "The more we learn about Jesus Christ, the more we realize that endings here in mortality are not endings at all- they are merely interruptions- temporary pauses that one day will seem small compared to the eternal joy awaiting the faithful."
I just love the gospel. And I have found such happiness and JOY in serving the Lord! I am JOYFUL to be here and be bold and do what we DO as representatives as Christ. And, as we heard numerous times this last conference, you do not need to be a missionary to be a rep. of Christ because when we were baptized, WE ALL TOOK UPON OURSELVES THE NAME OF CHRIST AND THAT MEANS BIG RESPONSIBILITY, BUT IT'S ALL JUST SO WORTH IT AND IT'S ALL JUST SO JOYFUL!!!!!!

Exclamation Point :)

Hermana Harkins

"Sometimes, it's hard being a missionary"

You all remember that conference talk, right? The story that Elder Holland shared about the sister missionary that got sworn at and food thrown at the back of her head? The talk about true discipleship being a sacrifice?

Better believe that Hermana Harkins had a "sometimes its hard being a missionary" experience! Woot woot I must be a disciple of Christ or something ;)

So it's Tuesday, 7:30, we have been walking all day, all our appointments fell through, we are just trying to find people to visit or people in the street to contact but it's getting pretty frigid so there weren't too many individuals out and about. We walked past a young man, about 19 or 20 years old, and said hello. He didn't say anything back, so we just continued walking. But a moment later, he rode past us on his skateboard and stopped in front of us, making it so that we could not walk past.
And that was when he started firing all the questions at us, another one of those moments like Abinidi when King Noah's priests tried to confuse him and tie up his tongue with their carefully crafted questions. But, just as with Abinidi, we had all the answers and he just kept getting frustrated because he wasn't winning. And finally, he pulled out "Well, how do you even know that Christ exists? How do you know that it wasn't just something that the world invented?"

And that was when we testified. Which is different than answering questions because a testimony is so much more powerful. And I have learned that no one can say NO to your testimony. And in the end, he left swearing under his breath and a scowl on his face. But he couldn't say no to our personal testimonies that  Christ truly lives and loves every one of us, even our wayward brother.

And its true that sometimes it is hard to be a missionary. Sometimes it's hard to be a disciple. But you know what? Its worth it.

So take that, Satan!

Speaking of Satan, I finished The Pearl of Great Price this week! I'm a touch obsessed with Moses 1:2,5,11, and 13-18. I even tried to interpret the facsimile in Abraham. Totally feel enlightened. Afterward, I was so exhausted, like when the prophets in the Bible after receiving revelations. Ha I am such a nerd. All my jokes are about the gospel now. That's what happens when you've been on a mission for TEN MONTHS (this week)

So we found the most RADICALLY PREPARED INVESTIGATOR this week. His name is Juan, he's about 50 years old, teaches History AND believes in God (that's miraculous), we gave him a Book of Mormon when we contacted him, and he is just so beautifully progressing, in the 2 lessons we have had with him, he has said that he loves reading the Book of Mormon, and that he feels the spirit when we teach.

That was actually a great experience- he asked us in the second lesson what we believe that "the spirit" is. We explained about how we believe in God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost, and that this is the spirit. And that it is the way that God communicates with us, the different ways that we can feel it, etc. We went on to teach the whole lesson, and at the end, shared our testimonies.

Once we finished, he sat in silence for a moment, and then said "I like when you do that. When you testify. That's when I really feel that spirit that you were talking about. With other religions, when I asked how they know God lives, they start searching in their scriptures for an explanation, but that's never what I wanted- I just want to know how one can come to know that God lives. And you two do that. And if what you say is true, that this is the spirit of God, well then, all this must be true, because I feel it when you testify."

:) I just love being a missionary!

Oh! Cool quote from my mission President's wife- "Faith without works is dead, but works without faith is dead as well." WHOA MIND BLOWN!

I got a package from Marcy Parcy this week :) a real friend sends skirts and chaptsticks and envelopes, because your best friend knows your needs :) thanks doll!

Another cool thing that happened this week- I felt really strongly to teach an inactive member about being a representative of Christ and what that qualifies of us as members, we planned to teach that to her and everything. But when I started studying for it, it just didn't feel right. But, through trying to study for it, I came across lots of other scriptures of how the holy ghost is the best rep of Christ, and through that, I knew that that is really what we needed to teach her- this sister who has forgotten her testimony, what she really needs to hear is that the spirit will testify of the truth, always. Upon sharing that revelation with my companion, she told me that she came across exactly the same thing for this sister in her studies.

THE SPIRIT IS SO COOL AND THE CHURCH IS SO TRUE whaaaat :)

I learned how to say sunrise and sunset in Spanish this week. Better believe I had the song from Fiddler on the Roof stuck in my head ALL DAY.

Something that I learned about forgiveness this week- there is a family that we visit that went through a rough patch a few years ago because of some poor choices that one of their sons made, and while they claim that they have forgiven him and its all ok now and that they have all moved on, they still make sarcastic, indirect comments about it, and we still find anger in their eyes when the subject comes up.

What I have learned...is that if we are still thinking about it, if we are still talking about it, and if others can still feel the anger and betrayal that you feel, then you still have work to do. There is still forgiveness and love to be given. Some believe that with time, it can all just pass, that we can just forget what happened, and that that's enough.

But it most certainly is NOT enough.

We just need to forgive and love and MOVE ON. And if you don't feel that, then you still have some forgiving to do.

Sorry if this email was a little all over the place, I just learned a lot this week and wanted to talk about it all! Hope y'all are doing well, stay absolutely wonderful :)

Hermana Harkins

I've Started Studying the Conference Ensign

One of the best pouch days for a missionary is the day in June when you finally receive the Conference Ensign. That happy day was about 2 weeks ago, and I am wallowing in the pure happiness and joy that comes from reading the most recent revelation that God has given us through His apostles and His Prophet that He has called to guide us in these Latter Days. I know without a doubt that they are men truly called of God. I love our Prophet and our Apostles. I could go on all day about how incredible they are. The Gospel is just so true, I cant even get over it.

(a hint...I started in the back with the talks from the Women's Conference. The second one, about how we need each other, yeah. Changed my life. I'm LOVING the Conference Ensign, people!)

Also this week, I came to truly understand that whole tights with thick socks and short boots trend- it's not just because its cute. Its because it all started with the sister missionaries that wear holes through their tights but still need to use them to keep warm, so they just put socks on that cover the holes and their cute little short boots and they keep on walking. True story :)

Did you all know that we are in the World Soccer Tournament? Here in South America it's called Mundial, and Chile just keeps winning, which apparently is a miracle, because they usually don't get very far. Anyways, we aren't allowed to leave during the games where Chile plays because 1) we can't watch it, and literally EVERYONE watches the games. And 2) when Chile makes a goal, the crowd goes wild. The crowd being everyone in the country. Ya know, except the LDS missionaries. And when Chile WINS, oooof. They really go crazy! So we sit in our pensions for the two hours and study the scriptures and keep score by listening for when the party starts outside, and then we go out and keep working. This last week, after Chile won the match, there was a crowd of people doing the national dance in the main street of our sector.

So this week, my testimony has grown SO much of the Book of Mormon. Because the thing is, I have always known it was true. I have been blessed to always have it in my life and have a knowledge of its power. But it wasn't until my time here in my mission, and truly needing to rely on it to guide me and answer my prayers and my questions, it wasn't until I truly read it all, cover to cover, even the testimonies in the front like my dad always told me to read but I never did because I just didn't GET the importance of testimony before my mission, that I have truly come to know and love the Book of Mormon. There is no way that it was made up, and I have no doubt that it is truly a gift from God, because only something from God has the power to do what the Book of Mormon does. Only something of God has the power to change lives and bring people closer to Him.

Allow me to share a few experiences I had this week.

The first was with Mariela, an inactive member who is struggling right now with some big sadness and frustration. We went in prepared to share a scripture about our baptismal covenants and focus on our responsibilities as members, but as we sat down and began talking with her, it became evident that this was not the message that she needed to hear. So we listened more, kept asking questions, kept searching for the deeper meaning to her sadness and frustration. And then she said the word "weak." That she feels weak and she doesn't know what she can do to feel strong.

That's when I knew what we needed to share. Alma 26:12. Alone, we truly are weak. But with the strength of the Lord, we can do all things. We shared that verse with her, and ya know, shes a sassy 'lil thing, and she said to us "You know Hermanas, this verse can't be shared with anyone else, because it was written exactly for and ONLY for me."

Another experience from this week was with Rosario- an inactive member that we don't get to visit very often because her work schedule doesn't permit it. But we missionaries just know that there is always something MORE than just work that keeps people from coming. We went in prepared to teach about the Sacrament and the blessings we receive when we participate, but, just as with Mariela, upon talking with her for a bit, we felt that the Sacrament just wasn't what she needed to hear. So we followed the prompting and just kept asking and listening, to her and the spirit, to know what we needed to say.

She told us that she misses her old ward, where she was a teacher for the youth in the ward and she had lots of great friendships and she misses the feeling of family that she had before. And that when she moved here, she got distracted by worldly needs and the few times she went to church, she was frustrated and sad that she didn't have the same friendships. That she misses feeling that she has something to contribute and people that really need her. And the whole time, I kept thinking of Mosiah 18:8-9 where it talks about our responsibilities as members of the church (what we WERE going to share with Mariela!), and at first I thought that it was just because I'm totally obsessed with that scripture right now, and that it cant be the spirit, just ME. But the feeling kept coming, so that's the scripture that we shared.

Halfway through reading it out loud, she began to cry. Not just little silent tears, but real weeping. And she said that this is what she wants to feel, that people need HER to help bear their burdens and that she can have people to rely on to cry with her when she needs to cry. That the verse "woke up something" inside of her, and we were able to testify that there are people that NEED her in this ward- that people need her to serve and to be served, because it's what we promised to do in our baptism.

The third experience was with Jaime, our ward mission leader. We passed by his house and he was outside with his dog. It was obvious that he was bummed out about something, so we stopped to talk to him and see what was wrong. He told us that he was going through a tough moment in his job right now and that he feels like it will just never end. He doesn't typically like advice, but we shared a scripture with him anyway, Mosiah 24:13-16, and we told him that even while we feel like the hard moments will never end, if we just trust in the Lord, he will free us eventually, when it is really time for the hard moment to end.

He looked at us a moment and said "Has that scripture always been there? I don't remember ever reading it, but I LIKE it."

Seriously, in all these little moments this week, my own testimony has grown of the power of the Book of Mormon. Among these three experiences, every day, I was able to receive other little personal revelations, for myself, for my companion, for the people that we visit, and it made me stronger. It helped me to testify with more power and authority, at times inciting tears, because I just LOVE the Book of Mormon, and I just know that it's true, because I have been able to feel its power so many times in my life, and I have literally seen how it can change someone's heart, strengthen their soul, and give them the strength that they need to keep rocking this hard life.

I know that the Book of Mormon has the power to do anything. It answers every questions and doubt and gives us light and hope and it has the power to convert everyone to know of the Lord's love. And I love that.

Stay rad, y'all :) Be bold and do what you do :)

Hermana Harkins

21 years old WHATTTTTT

Who would have thought a little over a year ago that I would be in SOUTH AMERICA for my 21st birthday?! NOT me. But what an awesome birthday it was :) woke up to find a banner set up by my beautiful comp saying "Happy Birthday Ashlynne", yeah, in ENGLISH, and she searched my English scriptures for how to spell my name and everything. Opened a bunch of gifts from the best mom ever- clothes, sticky notes, stationary, lush products(!!!), earrings, spa supplies(!!!), scarves. They sang to me in Relief Society. I got a ridiculous amount of chocolate. We had lunch with an awesome family in the ward, they made burgers and cake (because what else would a gringa missionary WANT for her birthday?) and then...we had to go on divisions.

Long story short, my comp and her trainer had to go back to their sector to visit some people that were struggling, and I went to the sector where my comps trainer is right now with her current companion.

Know what that sector is?

Lo Erazurriz.

That is correct. On my birthday, I got to work in my old sector.

TALK ABOUT BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER FOR A MISSIONARY!

Guys, seriously, you do not even know what amazing happiness I felt. Pure joy. Seriously the best birthday gift ever. We visited a bunch of people and they were all just crazy in shock, and BENJAMIN! My convert! Two weeks ago he received the priesthood and Sunday was the first day that he blessed the Sacrament! And he is preparing to go do baptisms for the dead in the temple and he invited his mom to read the Book of Mormon and she is in Alma 21 and I just could have cried to see him so happy and strong, in spite of so little support in his home, he is making miracles happen and is HAPPY to be a member of the church.

It was a wonderful day :)

And, surprise surprise, we don't have changes. I am very blessed to be in El Abrazo with Hna. Marquez for one more change :) and we are EXCITED. We had a little goal setting session yesterday and we are pumped up and ready to go and unified by our love for the people in this sector. There is still so much that we can do, and we are ready to do it.

And we had an experience last night that I would love to share with you all.

We had a lesson with two investigators last night who are the parents of a recent RM: Literally, he got home two weeks ago, and has gotten right on top of teaching his parents the lessons. We have been visiting them for a long time, but have found it to be a bit of a struggle to teach them. They have a crazy huge love for their son, but their desire to listen to the truths of the Gospel and put action to what they are learning...not so much. But now  their son is home, and we have big faith that we can see a miracle happen. So we continue teaching.

Last night, we taught The Plan of Salvation, which we honestly thought would touch those lil heart strings and help them feel the awesome power of the spirit. And we had their son there to help us out, lemme tell you, returned missionaries make for an awesome MAC. We had qualquier esperanza. But it turned out to be one of those lessons where they contradicted everything that we said and trying to confuse us with craftily phrased questions. Like Abinadi and the priests of King Noah. And we did our best, but Abinadi had some amazing power, see Mosiah 13:3-4. I don't like sounding so weak, but it honestly scared me. And I did not feel good after the lesson.

As we sat down to plan for the next day, I asked Hna. M how she felt about the lesson, expecting to hear exactly what I was feeling- that it wasn't our best. But she told me that she felt great about it. And when I asked her why, she said something that I will never forget ever. She said "During the whole lesson, all they did was say no to what we were teaching. But in the end, when we testified, they didn't say anything. They can deny the gospel, but they cant deny our testimonies."

And that got me reflecting back on the lesson...on the moment when we bore our testimonies of the things that we had taught. And I realized that it was true; and I felt the strongest desire in that moment to share my testimony with her. I didn't understand why, I had just shared it in a lesson and she obviously heard it, but if there is any one thing that I have learned on my mission, it is to always act on the promptings of the spirit. So I shared my testimony. And I really just poured out my soul, we were both crying by the time I finished. And then she told me something else that I will never forget. She told me "Hermana, you have a powerful testimony. You should never be afraid to share it. Even if the people we teach don't want to hear anymore of the message we have or if they deny all that we teach, you have to share your testimony as you just did with me. Because it can move mountains."

You never think that missionaries are scared to do what they do, and maybe its just me, but I will admit to my weakness, and sometimes I get intimidated by my fellow man and their mere words and actions. But I know that I was prompted to share my testimony, my TRUE straight from the heart testimony with her so that she could tell me that. So that I could take up fresh courage that I could then realize that I was lacking and bear my testimony. Even if they deny what we teach. Even if their hearts are closed. Even if it seems like there is no hope to teach them anything else. MY testimony can move mountains. But it cant do anything if I keep it in my heart or only give it half way.

It's SO rad, the things that I am learning on my mission.

Stay rad, y'all :) Just keep doing what you do :)

Hermana Harkins